


Occupational Hazard

by nightbaron079



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Horikoshi RPF
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightbaron079/pseuds/nightbaron079
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the boss of the secret spy organization you are a part of is also a self-proclaimed matchmaker? Feelings, of course. A lot of feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Occupational Hazard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [incandescence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescence/gifts).



> The request asked for silver-haired Yamada and alternate universes (and Inoo playing a major role, which is Very Important), and I went through three drafts before finally deciding to continue this one for the exchange assignment. I really don’t know what happened afterwards, I am so sorry. And this is so late and I am probably stripped of all anonymity by now so Recipient-sama I just want to let you know I will make it up to you in some way, I promise. Special thanks to all my cheerleaders and my lovely beta, and to the mods who are ordering me to a forced hiatus after everything to get to rest and for understanding how late I am. I hope this fic would make it up for my lateness by fulfilling Recipient-sama’s requests. Thank you for waiting and sorry for being the cause of delay ;u; This has been a heck of an emotional roller coaster and I hope everyone finds something they enjoy in this story ;u;

“So…” Yamada said, idly flipping the knife in his hand and catching it perfectly by the handle at every turn. “…we have to look after kids now?

Chinen shrugged. “Well, College kids so technically they’re about our age,” he said, distaste and disinterest apparent in his tone.

Yamada picked up the folder lying on the table, studying the contents of the file inside. Chinen looked at him with detached interest, tapping out a complicated string of numbers on the keyboard in front of him that was probably some sort of illegal code again (Yamada didn’t want to know). He returned his attention to the folder on his lap which was open to his current subject assignment, given to him by their boss (who had a mysterious smile on his face when he did so—also one of the things Yamada didn’t want to know) when he called for him earlier.

“Nakajima Yuto, 21 years old, third year at Keio University, amateur photographer, son of the president of the Nakajima group of companies,” he read aloud, thumbing through the pages of the character dossier. It was full of photocopies of awards and certificates that the subject has received, along with his credentials and personal information and pictures that were definitely taken by hidden cameras. “He’s the poster boy of the privileged kid stereotype. The kind of guys that exist in shoujo mangas:  smart, rich, and probably has good looks.”

“’Probably’?” Chinen asked.

Yamada held out the printouts. “Newspaper photos of the guy are too blurry, and they showcase the work more than the actual person,” he said. “From what I read, it seems like a personal preference from the person himself.”

“Maybe he’s the shy type?” Chinen guessed. “I can hack through his social networking sites or something, if you need clear visuals. Or I could really just make Kamiki do that.”

Yamada frowned at Chinen. “That’s an invasion of privacy,” he scolded, before squinting at a new page on the character dossier he had in his hands. “...Besides, Inoo-kun already asked Kamiki-kun to do that and he doesn’t post pictures of his face online. A lot of pictures of his dogs though. Also he has pictures with a girl, but they don’t show their faces. What was the point?”

Chinen peered over Yamada’s shoulders at the papers in his friend’s hands. “He’s a very good photographer though, by the looks of it,” he commented.

Yamada stared at Chinen. “You give compliments now?” he asked.

“You’re just rarely on the receiving end of it,” Chinen said, throwing a lazy grin at Yamada’s direction. “I know how to spot talented people like myself when I see them.”

Yamada groaned. “I should have expected that,” he said.

Chinen smirked. “Why are we putting him under surveillance, anyway?” he asked. Yamada looked up at the monitor in front of Chinen and saw how his friend had already found the blog where his subject shares his photos. The small display photo at the sidebar showed a person presumably Nakajima Yuto. It appeared to be a candid photo taken from the side, his camera and the huge lens it had on obscuring a large part of his face as he was focusing on taking a picture.

“The father wants additional guards for his son while he’s in school to add to the security he already has, since he’s closing a very important international deal with several countries. If it pushes through, it’s supposed to greatly affect Japan’s economic growth,” Yamada said, looking down at the papers with the beginnings of a frown on his lips. “And for some reason, Inoo-kun assigned him to me, of all people.”

“That’s nice, you get volunteered now. You have an awesome track record, anyway,” Chinen said, stretching out his fingers over his keyboard. “But I don’t envy the babysitting job. Good luck in helping him stumble drunk out of parties and all the other stupid things university students probably do.”

Yamada let out a long-suffering sigh and flopped onto the couch, throwing the knife idly as he went down. The door opened, just as the knife buried itself to the dartboard hanging behind it.

“What the—Yamada!” a female voice said. Yamada raised himself by his elbows and looked over the door, where a glaring Shida stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Can you stop throwing knives at doors? This is really not helping with the safety thing,” she said. She pulled out the knife from the dartboard and stalked over to the two, wagging the knife near Yamada’s face. “And stop ruining the dartboards!”

“Calm down, I didn’t miss anyway! Besides, knives are pointy things too, what’s the difference?” Yamada said, quickly taking the knife from Shida by the blade without injuring himself. He now went back to tossing it up and down, like it wouldn’t cut his fingers with one wrong move. “Be careful with those, you can hurt yourself. I won’t hear the end of it from Inoo-kun if I hurt his agency’s precious female agent.”

“I am so done with this conversation already,” Chinen commented, plopping down on the couch next to Yamada’s head and putting up his feet on the coffee table. “What do you want, Mirai-chan? Barging into the holy territory of masculinity?”

Shida gave Chinen a filthy look that was five different levels of judgmental all at once before turning back to Yamada. “You got a new assignment, I heard?”

Yamada sighed. “Trust Kamiki to tell you; do you guys have no secrets?” he asked, catching the knife by the blade between the gaps of his fingers and reluctantly sitting up.

“Be careful; Inoo-kun seemed like he was in one of those moods again,” Shida said.

Chinen snorted as Yamada groaned, collapsing back onto the couch. “I am so done with this!” he declared to the ceiling. “And stop laughing, both of you.”

“I wasn’t doing anything!” Shida said indignantly.

“You were about to laugh! I have a knife in my hands,” he reminded her with half a smirk on his face. “Just saying.”

“And I have three hypodermic needles with muscle paralysis and breathing constriction drugs,” she said, casually placing her hand over the hidden pockets in her sleeve and cocking an eyebrow at Yamada. “Just saying.”

“Not fair! Why don’t I get cool things like that?” Yamada complained. Shida laughed and patted Yamada on the head, his silver hair in its usual state of mussed and unruly.

“Because you’re better with knives and guns and using your muscles for more… physical things. I’m the stealth and sudden death type,” she answered. Then she grinned, sitting down on the coffee table. “What are you going to do? Are you going to accept the new assignment?”

“I need to earn my keep,” Yamada said as a response. Chinen sat up and met Yamada’s gaze.

“Maybe something good would come out of it,” he said, stretching his arms and yawning. “Inoo-kun got involved after all. He’s got great taste.”

Yamada furrowed his eyebrows. “…why are you making it sound like I’m going to a cake buffet?” he said suspiciously. “It’s an official assignment!”

Chinen shared a grin with Shida. “Oh I dunno, maybe you’ll get some pretty good mancake after this mission. Pun intended, all rights reserved,” he said.

Yamada groaned, covering his eyes with his arm. “You two are horrible,” he said, in a voice that told how resigned he was to his fate. “I need a constant reminder of why I’m friends with you guys.”

“Because you don’t have much of a choice pool,” Chinen replied, smirking down at Yamada even if he couldn’t see.

“And you’re lucky to have us. With your grumpy personality, you don’t have much to sell yourself with,” Shida said, crouching down on the floor next to Yamada’s head and poking his cheek.

“You’re doing wonders for my self-esteem right now,” Yamada said, rolling his eyes even if no one could see with his arm covering them and puffing his cheek out in response to Shida’s prodding.

“Well, you do have a pretty face,” she added after some consideration. “But you really lack in the conversation department.”

“You’re such a true friend. I’m really touched, thanks,” Yamada deadpanned. He removed the arm covering his eyes and turned his head to look at Shida. “And Inoo-kun still wonders why we didn’t end up together.”

Shida smiled. “We’re best bros anyway, so he got that right. And I found someone the second time around, so he’s still right,” she said.

Yamada covered his ears and pulled a face of pretend horror. “Please, I don’t need the sordid details of your love life. I get enough from Kamiki, what with all the teasing Chinen does.”

Shida hit him on the arm. “Instead of teasing me, why don’t you use your muscles for something useful like target practice?” she said. “This assignment might sound easy, but you never know.”

“Yes, mother,” Yamada said, pouting. Shida punched him once on the arm before standing up, snagging the knife from Yamada’s hands and putting back the knife in the sheath strapped to his hip. He watched her turn before calling out to her again, almost as if it was an afterthought.

“Shida?”

She turned, hands tucked into her pockets. “Hmm?”

Yamada smiled. “Thanks for telling me, even if you didn’t have to,” he said.

Shida grinned and flashed him a peace sign. “Somebody needs to remind you once in a while that it’s okay to give yourself a chance. You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said.

His mouth turned up at the corners, even as Chinen grasped his shoulder before standing up and sauntering towards the door as well. “Thanks,” Yamada said after their retreating backs. Both of his friends raised their hands in matching peace signs over their shoulders and closed the door behind them. He stared at the closed door and sighed, drawing out the knife from the sheath on his hip and twirling it between his fingers. He considered the pros and cons of incurring Shida’s wrath before shrugging and taking aim, letting the knife fly and hitting the dart board, dead center. He sunk back against the sofa cushions, reluctantly turning back towards the case files and the frustratingly uncharacteristic blurry photos that Inoo had provided.

He’ll deal with Shida (and maybe buying a new dartboard) some other time.

 

 

“I know we have to blend in and stuff,” Yamada said slowly, before glancing down at his ‘university student’ outfit (jeans, boots, a button-down shirt, a hoodie and a backpack—Shida did not allow them to go down the slob hobo college student route, even buying a pile of fashion magazines and coordinating their outfits). “But why do we have to be students too? Can’t we be professors instead?”

“And what are we going to teach students? The vital points to target in the human body when disabling a terrorist? How to identify and detonate over a dozen types of bombs?” Chinen replied. “Plus, we don’t have the height to look the part, and since you refuse to lose the pop idol hair color...”

“…Point,” Yamada said, fidgeting with the collar of his hoodie and glancing at the horde of students milling about the campus grounds. He was dressed normally, but his silver hair still attracted curious looks. “But I still don’t like this.”

“Me either,” Chinen murmured, leaning his head on Yamada’s shoulder as he yawned. “I hate kids.”

“They’re our age, and a majority of them are at least a head taller than the both of us,” Yamada reminded him.

Chinen waved his hand dismissively over a group of giggling guys and girls seated around a table. “The blatant flirtation is disgusting. How can anyone study with all these pheromones floating around?” he said.

“Why do you sound like you’re channelling an old man?” Yamada said, running his hands through his silver (bed) hair. “As if you’re not Captain Flirt yourself.”

“You’re confusing my natural charm and adorableness with flirtation,” Chinen said, cocking an eyebrow at Yamada and covering his mouth with his hands in mock surprise. “Oh my gosh, did you ever think I flirted with you before?”

Yamada sighed and yawned. “Why did I even start this conversation again?”

Chinen dropped his hands and shrugged. Yamada leaned against the wall, hugging his backpack to his chest. “Why are you even here? Are you having fatherly feelings and wanted to send me to school?” he asked skeptically. “You do know I’m not actually going, right?”

“You think I’d be awake this early if I was just here for fun?” Chinen asked, yawning to emphasize his point.

Yamada shrugged. “I know your determination when it comes to seeing your friends suffer for your entertainment. Who am I to judge?” he said.

Chinen swatted his head. “I was assigned here, you idiot,” he said. “Inoo-kun said something about ‘an unforeseen incident’ or something.”

Yamada raised an eyebrow at that. “What?”

Before Chinen could reply, a nervous cough came from beside Yamada. He looked up, raising his hand to shield his eyes from the glare of the early morning sun as he peered up at the (very tall) stranger.

“Yamada… Ryosuke-san?” the newcomer asked nervously. Yamada nodded, but didn’t speak. The stranger cleared his throat, fiddling with the edges of his scarf. “I was told to meet you? I’m Nakajima Yuto.”

“Yes, this is sounding more like a script from a bad mafia movie,” Chinen muttered, sighing loudly before thumping both of them on the back. “I’m Chinen Yuri. We all know why we’re here, so let’s not waste time with pleasantries. Yutti, lead the way to your class.”

“Y-yutti?” Yuto asked. A corner of Yamada’s lips lifted as he made a conscious effort not to smile at the way Chinen raised his eyebrow at their client despite the gaping twenty centimeter height difference.

“Why? Do you want a new nickname? Yuto-pon has a nice ring to it too, now that I think about it,” he said.

“Just let him call you Yutti, or else he’ll just come up with more embarrassing nicknames,” Yamada advised Yuto.

“Does he usually call people with their first name?” he asked.

“He’s a weird child, please excuse his ways,” Yamada answered by way of explanation. Yuto grinned at Yamada and nodded.

Yamada shielded his eyes from the rays of the early morning sun with his hand and fully looked at Yuto’s face for the first time.

_Oh._

“Can I call you Yama-chan then?” he asked. Chinen smirked behind Yuto’s back at Yamada, blatantly pointing at Yuto and— _was he waggling his eyebrows_?

“O...kay?” Yamada answered hesitantly. Yuto nodded, his smile growing wider before turning back to Chinen to ask him a question. Chinen winked at Yamada before replying to Yuto, but Yamada was too busy pulling out his phone and sending an e-mail to their boss to do more than quickly glare at him.

_To: Inoo Kei_

_Subject: I know what you’re doing._

_So **this** is why there were no clear pictures in the file. I thought that was suspicious._

_I know what you’re doing._

_I hate you._

_(Please don’t fire me, you know I’m just joking._

_But I still hate you._

_And you owe me strawberries after this.)_

_(And don’t you dare bet with Hikaru and Shida about this.)_

 

 

Yamada pressed his thumb to his phone’s screen with more force than necessary. A few seconds later his phone vibrated, showing that he had one new message. He opened the mail and stared at his boss’s reply in disbelief.

_From: Inoo Kei_

_Subject: None_

**_;)_ **

 

_A_ _winky face_.

Unbelievable.

Yamada sighed loudly, stuffing his phone into the pocket of his hoodie and hoisting the straps of his backpack up his shoulder.

“Is something wrong?” Yuto asked.

Yamada frowned and shook his head in reply. They all filed into the classroom and chose seats in the middle of the class, where Chinen had somehow maneuvered that Yamada sat beside Yuto.

The little devil.

“Don’t mind him, he’s probably just nervous,” Chinen piped up from beside Yuto as he took out notebooks and acted like a perfect straight A student. Yamada wouldn’t put it past Chinen to be the top in this class even if they’re ‘just doing this for fun’, as he would put it.

“It’s okay, I felt the same way my first day,” Yuto said, smiling at Yamada. Someone called Yuto’s name, and as he turned to wave at the person Yamada sent a quick glare at Chinen’s direction. Chinen, being himself, just smirked at Yamada in reply. Sighing, Yamada took out a pencil and a notebook; since he was playing the student, he should at least act the part.

This was going to be a long day.

 

“Are you for real?” Yamada said five hours later, still recovering from his jaw dropping. They were at the open parking lot of the university, and the three of them were standing in front of a sleek white (and very expensive and super limited edition) convertible. Yuto rubbed the nape of his neck, the skin a faint shade of blush pink.

Chinen poked Yuto on the arm, nodding his head. “Yup, it seems so,” he confirmed with a solemn expression on his face. Yamada swatted at Chinen’s hand as Yuto laughed.

“It’s not a big deal. It’s not like I bought it with my own money or anything,” Yuto said, suddenly quiet and serious as he absently patted the hood of the car. Yamada watched for a moment as Yuto’s fingers slowly drummed on the steel before clapping Yuto hard on the shoulder (he hates that he had to reach up so high, what the hell puberty). Yuto jumped in surprise, looking down at him (again, what the hell puberty).

“We could drive you home if you’re not feeling up to it,” Yamada said.

“Is that part of the job description? Because I could perfectly go home by myself,” Yuto said, albeit a little grumpily. “I don’t need to be babied.”

“Hey, we’re not babysitters,” Chinen cut in, levelling a glare at Yuto’s direction. “We’re actual professionals, got that? Unless you do something stupid, you would never have to feel like you’re being coddled.”

Yuto looked taken aback but nodded slowly. “Sorry,” he said.

“And that was Ryosuke’s way of subtly asking if he can try driving your car,” Chinen said, looking over the car with a critical eye. “We don’t get to use cars this fancy in the agency.”

“Hey!” Yamada said, swatting at Chinen’s arm.

“Oh I don’t mind,” Yuto said, the troubled look disappearing from his face.

Chinen waved his hand dismissively at the pouty face Yamada was making at him, and then looked at his watch before clapping Yamada and Yuto on the back. “Well, that’s me for today,” he said.

“Huh? Where are you going?” Yamada asked in confusion.

Chinen leaned forward to whisper into his ear. “Somewhere where I won’t be disturbing Inoo-kun’s master plan,” he said. He pulled back and _simpered_ at Yamada before nodding at Yuto and sauntering off.

“Is he usually this carefree?” Yuto asked, looking at Chinen’s retreating back.

Yamada shook his head and shrugged, having long given up on explaining the enigma that is Chinen Yuri. He eyed the backpack that Yuto had placed into the trunk of his car. “Are you going home for the day?” he asked politely.

Yuto stared at Yamada, blinking a couple of times before coughing and ducking his head. Yamada watched as Yuto began retrieving things out of his bag, placing his wallet, phone and keys into his pockets before carefully drawing out a camera from his bag. “I was planning to go for a walk around the campus and take some pictures… will that be too much trouble?” he asked worriedly.

Yamada looked at Yuto, raising his eyebrows in surprise. Most people would either act like bodyguards were a nuisance or else pretend that they don’t exist.

He guessed Yuto wasn’t like most people.

Yamada shook his head. “No it’s okay. But would I be a bother? I can watch over a few paces back if you want to be alone,” he said, then paused. “...This sounds weird right? It’s like I’m asking for your permission to stalk you or something.”

Yuto laughed and shook his head. “The company would be nice, actually. I usually do this alone, or with my best friend when she isn’t busy being awesome.”

Yamada watched the gentle smile that came up at Yuto’s face when he mentioned his best friend and felt a little twinge in his heart.

 

 

Chinen had looked up from the pool table where he was planning out his next shot when Yamada banged the door to the recreation center open, his head covered with the hood of his jacket and his face hidden with a black face mask. The other guy playing with him greeted Yamada with a wave and a big smile.

“Yamada-kun, welcome home!” he said brightly, almost poking himself in the eye with his billiard stick.

“Hello, Hikaru-kun,” Yamada replied in a sullen tone, voice muffled by his face mask.

“What happened to you?” Inoo asked pleasantly from the couch, raising his teacup in greeting.

“As if you don’t know,” Yamada shot back, throwing himself down on the couch next to Inoo.

Inoo raised his shoulders in a delicate shrug. “That’s why I was asking. I’ll be expecting an official report on my desk before 9AM tomorrow morning, okay?” he said.

“Inoo’s code words for ‘I want all the juicy details’,” Hikaru said, sharing a mischievous grin with Chinen. Inoo smiled, not even denying it as he stood up and patted Yamada on the head, flicking at Hikaru’s forehead on his way out of the door.

“Don’t forget your report okay,” Inoo called out over his shoulder. Yamada saluted in reply, keeping his stance until the door closed behind Inoo. When he was sure their leader was out of earshot, he slumped down on the couch and let out a long sigh.

Hikaru looked over at Yamada and inclined his head. “Sorry about our Inoo-kun, you know what he’s like when he feels like playing Cupid,” he said.

“He’s so shameless about being a matchmaker, it’s ridiculous,” he replied, pulling his legs up to his chest and grabbing one of the pillows on the sofa.

“How did your date go?” Chinen asked. Yamada pointedly glared at him as he pulled off his face mask, tossing it at his direction.

“Shut up, it wasn’t a date,” Yamada muttered darkly. “You were the one being all defensive about calling it an ‘official assignment’ anyway, then deciding to leave me halfway.”

“Awww, did you guys miss me?” Chinen said with a smug grin. “I can’t blame you, I’m adorable.”

“Your self-confidence never fails to amaze me,” Shida said, coming into the room with Kamiki following right after her.

“Just stating the truth,” Chinen said with a shrug, leaning over the table and taking aim, crowing when his shot got three balls in at the same time. Kamiki called the attention of the billiard players and they all gathered around a tablet that Kamiki had in his hands, apparently discussing a programming code that they had been writing together. Yamada pouted and sunk his face into the pillow he was hugging to his chest. Shida sat down beside Yamada and poked him on the cheek.

“Why are you being so mopey? You’re usually a lot more cheerful and professional on the first day of your assignment,” Shida said, her finger still pressing into Yamada’s cheek.

Yamada batted her hand away and frowned. “I _am_ being professional about this!” he argued. “Clearly everyone else doesn’t want me to be!”

“We care about your future! And okay, maybe we have good money riding on this, so of course we do!” Chinen said, looking up from the screen of the tablet. “We didn’t ask for you to jump his bones right away though, so really, no pressure.”

Yamada threw a pillow at Chinen, which the latter easily avoided.

“We just want this to go well, for everyone’s sanity and your happiness,” Chinen reasoned out, picking up the fallen pillow and throwing it back at Yamada. “And your aim sucks.”

“Be thankful that wasn’t a knife,” Yamada said, sitting back and burying his face on Shida’s shoulder.

Shida laughed and ruffled Yamada’s hair. “Quit moping around and start writing that report. You probably have homework to do as well,” she reminded him. Yamada’s answering groan probably counted as an affirmation.

“Man, why did I agree to do this?” Yamada asked no one in particular.

“Don’t question the way Inoo-kun plays with the universe, Yamada-kun,” Kamiki advised. “It just messes up the juju.”

 

 

“What happened to you?” Yuto asked after Yamada yawned for the fourth time in the span of ten minutes.

“Homework is hard. How do you college kids manage to have social lives after everything?” Yamada complained. “The problem sets were endless.”

“I… don’t know?” Yuto answered. He pointed at Chinen, his chin resting on his hand and evidently fast asleep. “Did he stay up late to do homework too?”

Yamada snorted. “No way, he finished all the homework in an hour, and refused to help me answer mine, by the way. He just stayed up late playing online MMORPGs because his teammates live on the other side of the International Date Line,” he said.

“An _hour?_ ” Yuto said in disbelief, looking at Chinen with newfound respect. “Is he a genius or something?”

“His IQ’s around 200 I think, give or take,” Yamada said with a shrug, covering his mouth with the back of his hand to hide his yawn. Yuto looked over him and frowned.

“You look really tired, are you sure you’re okay?” Yuto asked, the concern evident in his voice.

Yamada waved his hand in front of his face. “I’m fine,” he said, stifling another huge yawn.  “I just had a lot more paperwork to go through,” he said.

Yuto frowned. “You should really rest,” he said worriedly.

Yamada shook his head. “I can’t slack off on official duty!” he insisted.

“What about him?” Yuto asked, pointing at Chinen.

“Still not on official duty,” Chinen suddenly answered, eyes still closed. He opened one eye and somehow managed to glare at both of them. “You’re not my official assignment, Yutti, so you guys should just let me sleep,” he said, closing his eyes and burying his face in his arms. “If you both value your life, you know not to disturb me.”

Yamada and Yuto both stared at the sleeping Chinen, both sporting a look of confusion on their faces—Yamada especially, who had thought all along that Chinen had been assigned as his mission partner. Before they could manage to wheedle out more answers from him, however, the professor had arrived, and Yamada tried his best to stay awake for the three-hour lecture period.

_Tried_ being the operative word.

 

“Yama-chan?” a voice said faintly from beside him.

Yamada stirred, raising his head a few centimeters before fully jolting awake.

The classroom was completely empty except for him and the person sitting next to him, whose shoulder he has apparently been using as a pillow. Yamada blushed as he sat up, blinking slowly to reorient himself with his surroundings.

“Where is everyone?” Yamada asked, looking around wildly and not even noticing that his hair was sticking out in crazy directions.

Yuto experimentally rolled his shoulders before replying. “Class ended about ten minutes ago. Chinen-kun said I should let you sleep because you were up late arranging extra security measures for me,” he said, biting his lip and bowing towards Yamada.  “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve been causing you.”

“That brat,” Yamada muttered; he can clearly imagine the look on Chinen’s face when he caught Yamada sleeping on Yuto’s shoulder. He ran his fingers through his already messy hair, making it look crazier than it already is.

“I’m really sorry for falling asleep on duty. I promise I’m usually not this sloppy at all. My behaviour is inexcusable,” Yamada said, bowing down to Yuto. Yuto’s eyes widened, flailing his hands and making Yamada raise his head.

“It’s fine, really, Yama-chan. See, no injuries, no death threats, no attempts at my safety!” he hurriedly assured Yamada. “It’s also acceptable behavior for a college student during morning class. You didn’t blow your cover, and besides, no spies!”

Yamada bit his lip. “But there could have been! I shouldn’t have slacked off!” he said.

Yuto firmly placed his hand on Yamada’s shoulder. “Hey. Yama-chan, look at me,” he said. His voice, soft and quiet, carried across the room. Yamada reluctantly looked up, his brown eyes meeting Yuto’s brown ones that were almost amber in the light. Yuto stared at Yamada before he slowly reached out his hand, hesitating before gently holding Yamada’s chin and softly tugging at it, making Yamada release the lip he was chewing on.

“I’m here. I’m fine. Okay?” Yuto said, looking into Yamada’s eyes and waiting as Yamada nodded in reply before smiling. “ I won’t disappear that easily.”

 

 

“Looks like somebody’s scoring around here,” Chinen said with a wicked grin, eyeing the bruised lip Yamada was sporting from chewing on it earlier. Yamada ignored the innuendo. In fact, he ignored Chinen completely. He was dreamily throwing knives at the dartboard behind the door, all the blades crowding around the middle of the dart board.

“What happened to him?” Hikaru asked, narrowly avoiding being skewered by one of the knives Yamada threw as he went to sit next to Chinen and Kamiki.

Kamiki shrugged. “He’s been acting like that ever since he got home from surveillance,” he said.

“Something good probably happened with Yutti,” Chinen said, frowning at how he was being ignored.

“Weren’t you with him?” Hikaru asked.

“I left early. Yutti isn’t my official assignment anyway,” Chinen said, stretching his arms over his head. “Also, I was sleepy.”

“Oi Yamada,” Hikaru said, trying to call Yamada’s attention. When that failed, he huffed in frustration, caught up the knife lying in the fruit bowl next to a half-peeled papaya and threw it at the knife Yamada had just thrown. The two blades met mid-air, both impaling the hardwood floor. Chinen and Kamiki both winced, and Yamada finally looked at the other three people in the room.

“Oh. Hi guys,” he said, a dazed smile on his face.

“Finally, lover boy is back with us,” Chinen commented. Yamada simply smiled at him.

“Seriously, did he drink one of Shida’s drugs by accident or something?” Kamiki asked, actually looking scared.

“I didn’t! I’m not stupid,” Yamada answered, pouting at Kamiki.

“Well, you’re acting a lot like it,” Chinen quipped. Yamada stuck out his tongue at him and sank back into the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest and the dopey smile back on his face.

“Best not let Shida see that,” Kamiki said, inclining his head to the knives still staked to the floor.

“Not let me see what?” Shida said, opening the door. A few knives fell from the dartboard and got stuck point-first on the floor. Chinen and Kamiki silently winced in unison as Hikaru slowly sank down from his seat to hide under the table. Yamada gulped and raised the pillow to hide his face.

“ _Yamada—!!!”_

 

 

“I keep forgetting to ask, but what do you mean by Yuto-kun not being your official assignment? I thought you were assigned as my back-up partner,” Yamada asked Chinen. They were leaning against their usual pillar, waiting for Yuto to show up.

“Inoo-chan said so. I wasn’t about to argue,” Chinen answered, shrugging elegantly. “He said it’s a secret surveillance request from the person’s parents, and that it’s a person close to Yutti. For now, Inoo-chan said I should go along with your classes so it wouldn’t look weird if I conveniently show up right when the person arrives.”

“Doesn’t that make you suspicious?” said Yamada doubtfully. “It sounds to me like Inoo-kun has something up his sleeve.”

“He always does,” Chinen said with a resigned sigh. “I just try to prepare myself and make sure to act surprised when he’s there to see it.”

“Yama-chan!” a voice called out. Yamada and Chinen looked up to see Yuto waving enthusiastically at them. Yamada returned his wave and smile and turned to see Chinen hiding a smirk.

“What?” Yamada said.

“I’m here too, you know,” Chinen complained just as Yuto reached them.

“Did something happen?” Yuto asked.

“Nothing, it’s just Chinen being himself. Good morning, Yuto-kun,” Yamada said.

“Good morning!” Yuto replied, smiling brightly. Chinen let out a huge yawn and smiled sleepily at Yamada, a corner of his lip lifted up in a smirk.

Yamada saw Chinen’s expression and hoisted his backpack higher up his shoulders. “Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not going to give you a piggyback ride to class,” he said sternly.

Chinen chuckled. “Nothing; I just noticed you call Yutti by his first name,” he said.

Yamada stared. “You call him with a _nickname_ ,” he pointed out.

“I’m still here, guys,” Yuto reminded the both of them.

“You’re our one hundred and eighty centimeter portable shade from the sun; _we know_ ,” Chinen said to Yuto before crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow at Yamada. “You usually call everyone with their surnames,” he said.

Yamada scratched the tip of his nose, studiously avoiding meeting Yuto’s gaze. “So?”

Chinen’s grin widened. “Nothing in particular~” he said. Yamada pulled down his beanie over his ears, hoping that the rest of his face wasn’t as red as he felt it was.

The three of them walked to class, Chinen chatting up Yuto as Yamada checked his phone and discreetly looked around for suspicious people. He heard Yuto laugh and Yamada turned to see that he had his own phone out, Chinen shamelessly peeking at the screen.

“What is it?” Chinen asked. Yuto looked up with a smile on his face, showing his phone to the two of them. There was a picture of a girl standing in front of a mirror, her phone covering her face and her free hand held in a peace sign. The words “found it!” with a smiley face and a heart were scribbled on the edge of the picture with the help of a photo-editing app.

“Suzu-chan’s been looking for an Olaf phone case everywhere. She’s been sending me the lyrics of Let It Go since she watched the movie; it’s annoyingly cute, even if I don’t understand about half the things she sent me,” he said, a fondness warming his voice.

Yamada quietly slipped his phone back into his pocket as Chinen began asking Yuto about his other classes, sitting back and trying not to think too much about the way Yuto had sounded when he said the girl’s name.

Because if he thinks about it too much, he’ll just remember how similar it had sounded to the time Yuto had promised he won’t disappear.

 

 

Hikaru looked up from the motherboard and computer chips he was wiring up together with Kamiki at the sound of Yamada viciously biting into an apple. “What happened to you?” he asked, putting down his soldering iron. “You were so perky this morning.”

“Nothing,” Yamada said. He was glaring at the wood pattern of the table, stabbing another poor apple with a knife.

“Someone’s jealous,” Chinen said, sitting down beside Kamiki. Yamada glared at Chinen at this, taking another huge bite out of his apple.

“I’m not,” Yamada said thickly before swallowing his mouthful, pulling out the knife from the mostly mutilated apple and pointing it at Chinen. “Stop second-guessing other people’s feelings, it’s not attractive.”

“I’m just telling you how you looked when Yutti said ‘Suzu-chan’, you don’t have to be so wound up about it,” Chinen countered.

“Chinen-kun,” Kamiki said, a warning in his voice. Chinen ignored him and placed his hands on the table, laying his palms flat on the mahogany and spreading out his fingers before leaning over to look at Yamada and staring down the knife by its point.

“What’s holding you back, Ryosuke?” he asked, a challenge in his voice.

“Nothing! Won’t you stop it?” Yamada said.

“Are you scared?” Kamiki asked suddenly, his quiet voice barely audible but for the sudden quiet in the room.

“I’m not. I don’t need to be,” Yamada said, his voice wavering. “Shut up, Kamiki, you’re not a part of this.”

Hikaru had stood up, holding out his hands in an attempt to alleviate the growing tension in the room. “Yamada, it’s okay. Even if it’s weird, you know that Inoo-chan has the best intentions—”

“I am not playing your games,” Yamada whispered.

“This was never a game, Ryosuke,” Chinen said, his voice firm. A smirk was still playing at the edge of his lips. “This has always been a gamble. This job, this life? Death is the constant we have to deal with every day. And if you’re too much of a coward to allow good things to happen to you, then you’re in for a shitty ride for the rest of what looks to be a very sorry existence.”

In a sudden blur of movement, Yamada buried the knife in his hand on the wooden table, right in between the gaps of Chinen’s fingers. No one moved. Chinen was still looking at Yamada, his gaze never breaking.

Yamada wasn’t sure which was the final straw—the half-smile on Chinen’s lips, or the fact that he didn’t want to admit that Chinen was sounding horribly right.

“All of you!” Yamada burst out, standing up so fast that he knocked his chair back.  “Everyone just leave me alone!”

He stormed out of the room, speeding past a startled Shida who was just entering the room.

“Yamada-kun—?” she started.

“Just leave me alone!”

 

 

Yamada barely heard the door to the target practice room open over the earplugs he had on and the gunshots he was firing at the targets five meters from where he was standing. He emptied the magazine of bullets to the bulls’ eye of the circular targets, holding the gun aloft even long after the smoke and gunpowder faded away. A person leaned on the barrier to his left, and he didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Shida.

“Ryo-chan,” she said quietly, her voice made softer by his earplugs. She extended her hand hesitantly, reaching until she touched his hands holding the gun. It wasn’t until she had lowered them and he had let go of the cold weight in his hands that he realized he was shaking.

“Hey,” she said. He didn’t answer, removing his earplugs slowly and refusing to look at her.

“Everyone says they’re sorry. Chinen, particularly,” she said. She had let go of his hands and was rubbing comforting circles onto the back of his shoulder.

“...I overreacted,” Yamada finally said.

“No, they were probably being annoying,” she said.

A bubble of laughter escaped from between Yamada’s lips. “Why are you taking my side? I yelled at your boyfriend too. And Hikaru-kun,” he said, then sighed. “I am such a jerkwad.”

“You’re the one sulking here and shooting the living daylights out of all these poor targets. We’ll run out of bullets if I don’t stop you from sulking,” Shida said with a shrug. “Mikki was probably just part of the collateral damage. You didn’t mean it. He’ll get over it.”

“But I _did_ mean it, Shida,” he said. She waited for him to continue and he sighed, removing the protective eyeglasses he was wearing and flinging it down on the table.

“I don’t want to be a part of this. I refuse to be emotionally manipulated for the expense of everyone else’s entertainment,” he said. He ran his fingers through his hair, the smell of his shampoo mixing with the gunpowder residue in his hands. “...It’s just not fair. For anyone involved.”

“Who says you’re being manipulated, though?” she asked.

Yamada looked at her incredulously. “Have you forgotten that Inoo-kun attempted to pair us up too?” he asked.

She held up her hands. “No, I don’t, but you said it yourself. It was an attempt. He never actually forced us to go out on dates. Sure, he made us partners, gave us schedules with the same free days. But feelings and falling in love, nobody can predict that. We’re the perfect examples, Yamada,” she said. She took a deep breath before continuing.

“You and I both know that they all mean well, and that they just want you to be happy. It’s scary, the job we have, and it’s hard to trust people. But you have to take that risk too. You took that risk with all of us, right?” she said.

Yamada nodded. Shida leant back on the shooting range barrier again, watching as he stared at the targets he had ruined and scuffed his shoes on the concrete floor before leaning back against the barrier across from her.

“Look at it this way, Yamada. Inoo-kun’s meddling aside, don’t you think fate is in the works here too? Of all the people, you two get to meet. Who cares about the weird circumstances?”

He looked up as she was saying this, smiling for the first time since he went inside the target practice room that day.

“You make a great Yoda,” he said. The _thank you_ went unsaid.

A similar grin was spreading across her lips. “You big dork.”

“I thought you said I was ‘teddy bear’?”

“You big adorable romanticist teddy bear.”

“I like you being nice to me.”

“Don’t get used to it. You still have to replace that table.”

He winced. “Can I still play the emotionally conflicted card?”

“Not a chance. That was mahogany!”

 

 

“You don’t even like baseball, Chinen,” Yamada commented. He was leaning (very carefully) against the top of Yuto’s car with his shoe resting against the wheel, watching Yuto and Chinen play catch in the almost empty parking lot.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be good at it,” Chinen said. “Now shush, if I lose and break a car window you’re paying.”

“Wait, in what universe is that even remotely fair?!” Yamada complained. Yuto laughed and threw the ball at Chinen’s direction. Chinen had to jump to keep the ball from sailing over his head, catching it safely with his glove.

“That’s cheating!” Chinen accused, pointing his glove at Yuto. Yamada laughed; the game was just showing how tall Yuto was compared to the two of them.

Yuto spread out his arms. “Let it go, let it go~” he sang out in English, making both Yamada and Chinen groan.

“It’s your fault for teaching him how to sing that song in English,” Yamada said to Chinen, making Yuto pout at both of them. Chinen shrugged and raised his arm. He paused midthrow, looking at something behind Yuto.

Yuto, preparing to catch the ball Chinen was about to throw, noticed the change in his expression.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, looking around just as someone called out his name.

“Yuto!” a female voice called out happily. Yamada followed Chinen’s gaze in time to see a girl barrel straight into Yuto’s arms, throwing her arms around his neck. Yamada tensed, his hand going to the hilt of the knife he has hidden in his boot. From the corner of his eye, he saw Chinen’s hand snake towards his belt and the hidden weapon holster attached to it, watching as he was at how Yuto would react to the stranger.

They both watched as Yuto’s face broke into a huge smile, putting his arms around her waist and lifting her, spinning her around while hugging her and laughing in glee all the while. He set her down on her feet after a couple of spins, placing his hands on her shoulders and smiling.

Yamada hasn’t seen Yuto smile at anyone like that before.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” he said, pouting like a child cheated out of his candy. “I could have picked you up at the airport. With a huge sign. And glitter letters!”

“Which is also the same reason why I didn’t tell you,” she said, reaching up and playfully pinching his nose. “I wanted to surprise you!”

“Well, I’m surprised!” Yuto said, grinning. The girl releases Yuto’s nose and seemed to notice for the first time that they had an audience. She peeked behind Yuto and smiled at Yamada and Chinen, waving shyly. Yuto turned, grinning apologetically and pulling the girl with him. Yamada had straightened up, discreetly slipping back his knife into his boot as Chinen dropped his hand from his weapon holster and had inched closer to him while Yuto and the girl were talking.

Yuto gestured to her with a flourish as he introduced her. “Suzu-ch—ah, Ohgo Suzuka, they’re my friends. Yamada Ryosuke and Chinen Yuri,” he said, beaming widely. The three of them bowed towards each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Yamada and Chinen said in unison.

“Nice to meet you too. Thank you for taking care of this kid,” she said, poking Yuto on the arm to illustrate.

“Hey!” Yuto protested good-naturedly as Yamada and Chinen laughed.

“I hope he wasn’t much trouble,” she said, then looked at Yuto. “What are you doing, show your gratitude too!”

Yamada hurriedly waved his hands in front of his face as Ohgo pulled Yuto down by his collar to bow towards Yamada and Chinen. “He’s a good guy, really,” he said, embarrassed.

“See!” Yuto said, grinning at Yamada as both he and Ohgo straightened up.

“I haven’t agreed with anything yet,” Chinen cut in.

“But—!” Yuto said, looking betrayed.

“If you shave off at least ten centimeters off your height, we’ll talk about it,” Chinen said. Yamada laughed, meeting Ohgo’s gaze that, weirdly enough, was focused on him. She suddenly looped her arm around Yuto’s and smiled.

“Can I kidnap Yuto-kun for a bit? It’s been half a year since I’ve seen him,” she said with a smile.

“Who told you to go to that exchange program for UCLA anyway,” Yuto grumbled, a fond smile on his face.

“I don’t think you need to ask permission when you kidnap someone,” Chinen observed.

“It’s okay, right, Yamada-kun?” Ohgo asked.

“Eh?” Yamada said in surprise, fidgeting now that everyone’s gaze was focused on him. He caught the question in Yuto’s eyes and gave him a small nod. “S-sure,” he answered, scratching the back of his neck for a bit.

She smiled and inclined her head, bowing once more before she began pulling on Yuto’s arm. He had picked up his backpack from where it was sitting on the ground with the rest of their things.

“Shouldn’t I be agreeing to this first?” he asked, letting himself be pulled along anyway.

“You’re not supposed to ask permission if you want to kidnap someone,” she quipped, turning to wave at a dumbfounded Yamada and Chinen. “It was nice meeting you!”

Yuto turned and waved as well. “See you guys in class next week!” he called out, then hurried as Ohgo pulled at his arm and tried not to stumble over his own feet. Yamada waved at them until they disappeared around the curve of the road.

“Staring after them won’t tell you anything,” Chinen said, hoisting his backpack to his shoulder and giving Yamada his own bag. “Come on, before we lose them.”

“What are you doing?” Yamada asked.

Chinen looked at him as though he had lost his mind.“Isn’t Yutti your mission assignment? Why are you letting him off your sight?” he asked.

“They deserve some time alone together,” Yamada supplied lamely.

“You still need to keep him under your watch,” Chinen said sternly.

“I was meaning to go follow them anyway,” Yamada mumbled. They had already caught up with Ohgo and Yuto. He had his camera out and was taking pictures, while she wore the glove he was using earlier in her hand and was tossing the ball that she must have picked up earlier up and down.

“I didn’t know I was that easy to replace,” she said, walking backwards so she could face Yuto while she was talking. From the spot where Yamada and Chinen were watching, they could see her pouting, hear the playful tone of her voice and the layer of sadness hidden underneath. “My pride is a bit hurt, you know. Pay for the damages!”

Yuto lowered his camera and walked towards Ohgo. She stopped walking and stood still, and the both of them looked at each other for a long moment. Then Yuto leaned forward, his face mere centimeters away from Ohgo’s, and casually flicked her on the forehead.

“As if I’ll ever replace you,” Yuto said.

Ohgo put her hand to her forehead, hitting him on the shoulder with his free hand. “You dork. You read too much shoujo manga,” she said.

“Ow!” he said, rubbing the spot where she hit him. “Who leaves them lying around all the time? I get bored, okay!”

“Ryosuke,” Chinen said quietly from beside Yamada. “Let’s go.”

“What?” Yamada said, turning towards Chinen in surprise. He was watching as Ohgo poked at Yuto’s cheek before laughing and beginning to walk in step with Yuto once more. “But what about—”

Chinen shrugged. “The sun’s almost down and Yutti won’t be able to take nice photos; they’ll be going back soon. They’ll be fine,” he said. He had straightened up from where he had crouched to hide, brushing off dry leaves from his pants and avoiding Yamada’s gaze for some reason.

“You go ahead,” Yamada said, turning back to watch Yuto and Ohgo. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

Chinen shrugged, giving the couple they were watching a final glance before patting Yamada’s shoulder and sauntering off.

Yamada leaned back against the tree he was hiding behind, watching how Ohgo and Yuto’s shadows aligned from the light of the setting sun.

 

 

“Chinen looked weird when he came back. Did something happen?” Shida asked. She was sitting right across from Yamada, tapping her fingers against the sorry piece of masking tape that someone (probably Kamiki) had used to cover the stab wound that Yamada made on its surface a few weeks back.

Yamada’s fingers paused for a moment over his keyboard, glancing up at Shida and inclining his head. “He was acting strange earlier too. I’m not sure,” he said, going back to typing up the day’s report to get it over and done with.

“You were with him the whole day. Are you not telling us something?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Yamada sighed and went back to his report. “This is supposed to be confidential stuff,” he said, squinting at his laptop screen and frowning.

“You’re pretty quiet too,” Hikaru commented. He had been making tea in the kitchen, and now sat down on the empty seat next to Shida. “Did something happen with Nakajima-kun?”

Yamada punched in a wrong key, swearing softly at the typo before firmly pressing the delete button. He stared at Ohgo’s name in his report and frowned, the furrow between his eyebrows deepening.

Hikaru chuckled. “Bull’s eye,” he said. “You’re such an easy guy to figure out.”

“I have a confidentiality clause!” Yamada said in exasperation.

Shida poked her head over Yamada’s laptop screen, resting her chin lightly over the top of the monitor part and her eyes lit with excitement. “Ooooh, was there any plot development? What base are you in right now?” she asked.

Yamada selected “Print Document” and chucked Shida lightly under the chin with his crooked index finger, firmly closing his laptop. “We’re not a shoujo manga, Shida. And you don’t even like baseball either,” he said. “There is no plot development.”

Shida pouted. “So stingy. You’re no fun,” she said.

Yamada patted her head, which only succeeded in making her puff out her cheeks more and making her bat his hand away. “Thanks, so I’ve been told. By Chinen. At least once a day, even,” he said.

“You know, in a shoujo manga the heroine’s friend would tell her something like ‘you should tell the person you like your feelings’ or something in this situation,” Hikaru mused. “So that means one thing…”

“What? That you read through Shida’s shoujo manga collection?” Yamada countered.

“I knew someone was going through my Sailor Moon copies! Give me back the third volume! It’s been missing since forever,” Shida said.

“I think Inoo-kun actually has that volume,” Hikaru said, not even denying anything. He turned to Yamada. “You should seriously stop blocking your own storyline, man.”

Yamada stood up, grabbing the printed pages of his report that Hikaru had sneaked out of the printer and putting them in a clear file. “First, I’m not a shoujo manga heroine. Second, there was no storyline to begin with,” he said. “Stop plotting out things that aren’t there.”

Hikaru shrugged casually. “There are plot twists, Yamada. It’s a thing,” he said, a smug smile on his face.

Yamada resisted the (very strong) urge to roll his eyes at Hikaru. “News flash: this is real life,” he said.

Shida giggled. “We’re secret agents, how much more fictional and _James Bond_ can we get?” she said.

“You should really tell him your feelings!” Hikaru insisted as Yamada was leaving the table.

“Confidentiality clause!” Yamada called over his shoulder.

 

“Inoo-kun? I’m done with today’s report,” Yamada called out, knocking on the door of Inoo’s office.

“Come on in,” he heard Inoo’s voice say. He placed his hand on the door knob, but someone was already opening the door from the other side.

“Oh—Chinen?” Yamada said. Chinen looked up and gave Yamada a tired smile, tucking a file under his arm.

“I hope you came prepared. He was reading shoujo manga before I came in,” he said. Yamada groaned, making Chinen laugh and pat Yamada on the shoulder.

“Why are you here, anyway? Did something happen?” Yamada asked, eyeing the folder Chinen had.

Chinen smiled. “Confidentiality clause,” he said mysteriously, then pointed his thumb over his shoulder into Inoo’s office. “Now quit playing Sherlock, Cupid’s waiting.”

“I can hear both of you loud and clear,” Inoo called out. The both of them laughed, and Yamada stepped aside to let Chinen pass before entering Inoo’s office. The interior was sleek, the furniture elegant and functional at the same time (Kamiki said that he dug up Inoo’s architecture diploma in their leader’s files when he was “checking firewall security”, so the rumors must be true), with bookshelves lining the walls and comfortable couches. Inoo was currently stretched across one of them, reading a volume of Sailor Moon that suspiciously looked like Shida’s copy.

“You can leave your report on my desk,” Inoo said, eyebrows scrunched up in concentration. “I’m at a good part.”

Yamada slowly set down his report on Inoo’s desk, wondering if he was going to get off easy today.

“I’ll ...go then...?” he said, inching towards the door. “Early day tomorrow and all that…”

“How are things going with Nakajima-kun, by the way?” Inoo asked, eyes still on the manga he was reading.

Yamada sighed, longing for a lucky break and wistfully thinking of his bed and the very welcome idea of sleep.

“Everything’s written in the report,” he said in defeat, moving to sit on the couch across from Inoo.

“Chinen said you met someone close to Nakajima-kun today? A special friend, maybe?” Inoo asked, continuing as if he didn’t hear Yamada’s reply.

“Ohgo Suzuka-san. And it’s _best_ friend,” Yamada said, rubbing at his eyes and running his hands through his hair. “Probably girlfriend, even,” he added.

Inoo raised his eyebrows and looked up after marking his place in the manga, probably deciding that Yamada’s response warranted eye contact. “Oh?” he said, his tone expressing nothing else but mild interest and curiosity. “Why did you say so?”

“They’re so…” Yamada said, trailing off and running a hand through his hair while trying to think of the right word. “...touchy?”

Another eyebrow raise. “Touchy in a way that cannot be aired on TV?” Inoo asked, his tone still carefully neutral.

Yamada shook his head vehemently. “No, not like that!” Yamada said. It took him a long time to continue, trying to put his thoughts into words.

“It’s like... they’ll be comfortable in each other’s skins? Like the other person was an extension of the other,” he continued slowly. “They looked like they have a very comfortable relationship.”

“Oh, like you are with Shida?” Inoo asked.

Yamada blinked. “...I guess you could say that,” he said slowly.

Inoo smiled at Yamada, opening the manga to the page where he stopped. “There you go,” he said.

Yamada blinked, then narrowed his eyes at Inoo. “You did that on purpose,” he accused.

“No comment,” Inoo replied, turning a page.

Yamada opened his mouth to argue, then closed it without saying anything. His shoulders slumped, the fight going out of him. “I don’t want to play your games, Inoo-kun,” he said, in a voice of someone exhausted to his very soul.

“This was never a game, Yamada-kun. I’ve always thought of it more as a gamble,” he said.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?!” Yamada said in exasperation.

Inoo closed the manga and set it down on the couch, sitting up straight and holding Yamada’s gaze. “Because it’s true, Yamada-kun. You know how dangerous this life we lead could be,” he said in a grim tone. “In the most difficult of times, we don’t know just how many of the people who left in the morning would come back alive.”

Yamada knew. He knew all too well. There were so many people, people who came into their group before and after him, people who became his friends, people whom he trusted with his life. People who taught him to fight with knives and with guns, people who taught him to drive any vehicle on land, air and water short of a spaceship, people who knew about his crab allergy, people who dared him to dye his hair silver. People whose pictures hung on the wall over his desk, people who went out like any other day and would never be heard of again, people who drove out and came home in body bags or coffins or burial urns or never came home at all. People who were alive and came back corpses.

People who were living, breathing.

People who were.

Yamada knew.

Yamada knew all too well.

“I understand,” he said quietly.

“Then you know that in the moment we signed up for this, we have to live life as fully as we possibly can,” Inoo said. He stood up and ambled slowly to his desk, picking up the report Yamada had submitted.

He held up the file. “You deserve to live more than a daily summary of events. You’re a story in the making, Yamada-kun. Make it the best one you can write,” he said.

“It’s scary,” Yamada whispered. He looked up at Inoo. “What about the after? When this assignment is over? What, I just end the story there? I’d rather not start when that ending is all that I can see.”

Inoo sat down, the clear file in his hands. When he spoke again, his voice was old and bore the weight of the people he had encountered. People who he may never meet again but had all touched his life and left a mark. People, they make ripples in the surface of everyone’s lives. We are all disturbances to that surface. It all came down to which surfaces you would touch. He held Yamada’s gaze, his voice clear.

“The cards are already laid out on the table. I only shuffle and deal them out. It’s up to the players to make what moves they think is best,” he said. “These cards know how they want to be dealt. But the players don’t. What may seem like a bad hand may just make you win.”

Yamada did not say anything, but Inoo did not look like he was expecting an answer. He offered Yamada a wry smile as he set down Yamada’s mission report and bowed his head as he opened the manga he was reading, which Yamada took as a sign that he was free to go. Just  as he opened the door, he heard Inoo’s voice once more.

“It’s sad to see a player give up on his hand even before he sees all the cards. It’s a gamble for a reason. You just have to hold on to that hand.”

Yamada turned and bowed his head towards Inoo before quietly closing the door behind him, going to his room to think about their conversation and his ghosts in peace.

 

 

“You really like kidnapping people, don’t you?” Yamada said, warily settling into his seat. Chinen had left before him, so he had waited for Yuto alone by their usual pillar. In the past fifteen minutes, he had received a text from Yuto telling him he was sick and he wasn’t going to class that day, and with the free day suddenly given to him he had planned to go straight home and get some more shut-eye. He was just about to leave when Ohgo suddenly showed up and dragged him away with surprising strength to a small cafe inside the campus. She was now sitting across from him, watching him from the top of the rim of her coffee cup.

It was shaping up to be one weird morning.

“Are you saying I have a reputation?” she now asked, setting down her cup on its saucer and folding her hands together on the table.

He hastily waved his hand in front of his face in the negative, grabbing his coffee mug to distract himself. “That’s not what I meant!” he said, blushing.

She smiled at his reaction, making him blush further. “So,” she said, placing her elbows on the table and crossing her fingers together before leaning her chin on her hands. “What’s going on between you and Yuto?”

Yamada coughed, spluttering over his drink. “W-what?” he said, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You heard me,” she said. She clearly wasn’t going to make this conversation easy.

“I don’t understand the question,” he said slowly. She was still smiling at his response, leaning back and wrapping her hands around her drink.

“I know about your relationship with Yuto-kun, Yamada-san,” she said quietly. He didn’t respond at once, drinking slowly from his hot drink.

“We’re just friends. He helped me adjust into the classes,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about anything.”

She narrowed her eyes, her lips twitching into a small frown. “I don’t appreciate being made like a fool or being lied to, Yamada-san,” she said, her voice iron will and steely determination. She put down her drink. “I’ve been informed by Yuto about your profession and your involvement. Please, let’s stop lying to each other.”

Yamada straightened in his seat, meeting her gaze. “You do know that the lie is necessary to make in order to ensure the safety of my client. I’m sorry for lying, but do understand that knowing about us and what we do  compromises the safety of everyone involved, you included,” he said, putting down his mug. “You can’t just advertise that information to anyone; the consequences might be something far beyond our control.”

Ohgo nodded, sipping at her drink. “I’m sorry,” she said. Her hands, wrapped around her cup, were shaking.

He shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said, offering a smile to her direction. “I would be worried too, if someone like me would suddenly show up and ingrain myself into the life of… of a person important to him.”

They continued to drink in silence, Yamada noting that Ohgo did not refute his statement.

“You know how influential his family is, right? It’s like a complex for him,” she said suddenly, a sad smile blooming on her face. “It’s like other people can’t look past the wealth and the surname. Seeing his smile break from all the fake friendship… it’s painful to watch.”

“Why are you telling me these things?” he asked slowly. His own hands tightened around his drink, his brain numbing the almost scalding heat of his mug as he processed Ohgo’s words.

“Because Yuto and I, we’re the same,” Ohgo said. She looked at Yamada. “We’ve gone through a lot of the same things. It’s been a long time since he’s completely opened up to someone, and it makes me happy that he made friends like you and Chinen-san. I know he trusts you with more than just his life.”

“I’ve never thought that his life is _just anything_. It’s more valuable than my own. He’s an important existence,” Yamada said. He sat back after saying everything, a little startled himself.

“Thank you for thinking about him like that,” Ohgo said, then blushed, standing up and bowing deeply towards Yamada. “Sorry for being this demanding, I—I don’t even have a proper excuse. I’m sorry for being unreasonable and taking so much of your time.”

“It’s my job,” he replied, standing up and making Ohgo sit down as he eyed the sudden onlookers with unease. “Please don’t apologize, I completely understand.”

Ohgo sat back down and Yamada followed. For a long moment, they sat in comfortable silence, sipping at their drinks until Ohgo cleared her throat, setting down her cup and tapping her index finger on the rim as she spoke.

“More than it being your job, just… please don’t let who he is faze you,” she said. “Underneath all the crazy things in his life, he’s just Nakajima Yuto.”

“He’s not just Nakajima Yuto, Ohgo-san. He is never _just anyone_ to me,” he said with a smile, looking at the contents of his mug and the steam rising from it. “He’s Yuto-kun.”

He inclined his head and she bowed, the both of them smiling when they raised their heads and let their gazes meet.

 

“Oh,” she said, stopping right in front of the door he had held open for her.

“Did you forget something?” he asked politely.

She locked eyes with him, smiling sweetly. “Just so you know, if you ever let him be hurt or hurt him, in any way, just know that I will make you pay for it, in any way I can,” she said, suddenly. “Painfully.”

“Uh… okay?” he said, blinking rapidly; he almost let go of the door handle in his shock from the sudden threat. She smiled, apparently satisfied with his answer, and stepped outside, stretching her arms over her head and closing her eyes against the warm sunlight. He followed after her, smiling.

“I could see why Yuto-kun would like you,” Yamada said. Ohgo dropped her arms, looking at him.

“Eh?” she said, confusion written all over her face

“...Did I say something I shouldn’t have said…?” Yamada said in horror, mentally kicking himself in the head for his lack of a brain to mouth filter.

“I’m not sure I understand, but I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding…” she said, trailing off as she squinted at someone behind Yamada. She took out a pair of prescription glasses from her bag and put them on, pointing at someone seated alone in one of the cafe tables outside.

“Isn’t he your friend?” she asked. Yamada looked towards the direction she was pointing and blinked.

“Chinen?” he called out in disbelief.

Chinen had jerked awake from the position he had been sleeping in (his arms crossed over his chest with his head lolling down and his chin touching his chest) and blinked blearily at the approaching Ohgo and Yamada.

“Oh. Hi guys,” he said, stretching and not even bothering to hide the huge yawn that followed.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t see you the whole morning,” Yamada asked.

Chinen shrugged, propping his cheek on his hand. “I wanted to wake up early,” he said.

“And sleep here instead?” Ohgo asked doubtfully, looking around the outdoor tables of the café. “Though it _is_ nice here.”

“Why are you interrogating me too?” he asked. “I thought Ryosuke is the resident play detective here.”

“Hey!” Yamada complained as Ohgo crossed her arms over her chest.

“Were you waiting for someone? A date, perhaps?” she asked.

Chinen mirrored her pose. “I have the right to remain silent,” he said diplomatically.

“Or you could be stalking someone,” Ohgo said with a grin.

“I resent that! I’m too cute to stalk anyone,” he declared. “Even if they’re as pretty as Ohgo-san.”

Yamada watched the whole exchange with interest. He and Ohgo had talked in slightly more formal tones, probably due to their choice of conversation topic earlier, but there was a certain natural ease that came when Chinen and Ohgo talked. Chinen was usually shy and taciturn with strangers, so it was a nice sight to see him readily interact with Ohgo.

“Let me know if you two are done flirting, okay?” Yamada said with a grin. Both Chinen and Ohgo turned to look at him, earning a glare from Ohgo and a whack to the head from Chinen.

“Hey! No tag teams! Chinen is enough of a menace as it is,” Yamada said, wincing as he rubbed at the spot where Chinen had hit him. The guy packs in a serious punch.

“Whatever, I’d beat you any day,” she said with a grin. Yamada pouted as Chinen burst out laughing.

“I think you’re my new favorite person,” Chinen said, grinning at Ohgo and pretending to wipe away a tear as he patted Yamada on the shoulder. “Sorry Ryosuke, but you’ve been replaced. Thanks for the memories.”

“Some friends you are,” Yamada muttered. Chinen laughed harder when Ohgo patted Yamada consolingly on the head.

“You’ll get over it,” she said soothingly.

They ended up staying in the cafe for the next three hours, Chinen asking Ohgo about her schedule and talking to her in English (mostly just to annoy Yamada, he was sure of it), Yamada realizing with a start that he referred to Ohgo as his friend, that she didn’t deny it, and revelling on how nice it felt to realize that friendship always started before anyone even begins to even think of putting a name to it.

 

 

“Come on, Yama-chan, just one picture!” Yuto pleaded. Yamada shook his head, his face mask firmly in place. They were on the same outdoor table from the cafe where Yamada and Chinen had formed their friendship with Ohgo (Yuto had complained about missing the joke when he caught the three of them sharing secret smiles and refusing to tell him what had happened) trying to study for the midterms. Yamada doesn’t understand why he has to take the exams too, but flunking out of his classes wouldn’t really help in making his job easier.

It didn’t mean that he had to like it, though.

“Why me? Take pictures of them instead,” he said while pointing at Chinen and Ohgo, who were looking on with amused smiles on their faces.

“Nah, we’re gonna get more coffee. Chinen-kun?” Ohgo said. Chinen immediately stood up and pulled out Ohgo’s chair, helping her stand. Yamada watched them go, his smile hidden by his face mask. A flash came from beside him, and Yamada blinked at the sight of Yuto grinning at the display screen of his camera.

“Your eyes look extra sparkly in this one,” he said gleefully. “The lighting is really good at this spot!”

“Why do you insist on taking pictures of me?” Yamada said, fond (and resigned) exasperation in his voice.

“Because you’re pretty! You register so well on camera, and you look like moonlight on the darkest nights,” he said without any hesitation, looking at Yamada before glancing back down to the display screen of his camera. “Though the live one is always much better than the photographs.”

Yamada was just grateful that the blush that was probably spreading across his face was hidden by his mask.

“You have that look again,” Yamada commented instead, pulling down his face mask when he was sure it was safe to take a sip from his drink.

“Eh?” Yuto asked, looking up from his camera.

“That ‘what should I take pictures of today’ look,” Yamada said.

Yuto stared. “My expressions have a name?” he said.

Yamada shrugged. “The usual ones,” he said.

“Wow, you really like watching people, don’t you?” Yuto said.

“You’re always interesting to watch,” Yamada said with a shrug, pulling in another mouthful of his drink through his straw. “You have a really interesting range of expressions, and your face is really nice to look at. I like looking at you.”

He looked up to see Yuto choking on his drink and, realizing how his words might sound like, promptly choked on his own.

“I-I just meant you have a really expressive face!” he said.

“Weak save, Ryosuke. A brave attempt, but weak,” Chinen commented, choosing that moment (of course) to return with Ohgo and witness their red faces and Yamada’s general… Yamada-ness.

“I hate you,” he informed Chinen.

“The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference,” Chinen quipped. “So keep telling yourself that.”

“I don’t even know what point you want to make,” Ohgo said, quietly giving a still spluttering Yuto a tissue.

“I was trying to impress you with my intelligence,” he said, turning to Ohgo and grinning.

“I was more impressed with your total lack of humility,” she answered. She turned to Yamada. “Where does he get all this self-confidence?”

Yamada shrugged, trying to ignore the fact that he could feel Yuto’s eyes on him.

 

 

Yamada wasn’t sure when he had started cataloging Yuto’s expressions

Maybe it was the time he caught him nodding off at class, his eyelashes grazing his cheeks.

Or the time he had called Yamada to go to school early to watch the sunrise with him, both their eyes bleary and half-closed but eventually growing wider at the shifting of the clouds and the lightening sky.

The way he pouted at Ohgo and the way his face looked when she pinched his cheeks.

Or was it the little glances and smiles Yuto throws at his direction? When he was puzzling over a question, when he asks Yuto about his schedule, when he drove Yuto home the one time he accidentally drank something alcoholic in a coffee shop (with Chinen, Shida and Hikaru smirking while he was leaving to go fetch Yuto), or one of the many moments that Yamada had been unconsciously taking note of and reviewed every night before he falls asleep at night?

Or when he looks back and realizes it’s been three months and a lot of the things he remembers are not things that make it to his official mission assignment update reports. Because somehow, all these expressions seemed too private to share on a technical report.

Yamada remembers every single one of them, and he never wants to forget.

So he keeps them, and then takes them out every night when no one could see how he smiles in the memory of every single one of them.

 

 

“Now you’re just being mean,” Hikaru complained, frowning over the Monopoly board. He was playing against Shida and Kamiki, the couple somehow buying the majority of the properties between the two of them and enjoying making Hikaru pay rent in every turn he makes. “Why the hell would you build a hotel on a freaking railroad? That’s just creepy horror movie material.”

“Just pay up, Hikaru-kun,” Yamada said in a bored voice. He was lying face down on the couch while the others crowded around the coffee table, blowing on the paper money in the plastic tray. Too lazy to play himself, he was somehow convinced by Shida to be the banker, dealing out the paper money to the other three. It was mostly a silent ploy from everyone in the agency to stop Yamada from inadvertently ruining the furniture by throwing knives anywhere when he’s bored, and so far it seemed to be working.

“I’m bankrupt already, you scamming lovebirds,” he said, flinging down his three property cards and the measly amount of money he had left.

“Such a sore loser, it’s not attractive, Hikaru-kun,” Shida said, sharing a high five with Kamiki.

“One more game?” Hikaru suggested, already gathering up the board game pieces and paper money. “I’ll win this time for sure.”

“You said that for the last three games already. Give it up, Hikaru-kun,” Yamada advised. “You’ll end up betting your actual life savings and still not win.”

“You talk as if you actually win in these things,” Hikaru scoffed, looking pointedly at Yamada.

Shida laughed. “Yeah Yama-chan, you never win in Monopoly. Or in life, for that matter,” she said.

“Ha ha,” Yamada replied sarcastically, flinging a pillow at Shida’s direction.

“Either you’re too lazy to snark back or that didn’t have much of an impact,” Hikaru said, messing around with the Chance and Community Chest cards and beginning to make a flimsy card tower.

“Dealing with Chinen Yuri will increase your mental fortitude,” Yamada said, pillowing his chin over his folded arm and looking around. “Where is he, anyway? He’d be gloating all over his winnings by now if he was playing too.”

“Didn’t he have a new mission assignment? That girl,” Kamiki asked.

“Huh? What girl?” Yamada asked in confusion.

“...Um,” Kamiki said. Hikaru looked up from the card tower he was now making and raised his eyebrows at Kamiki.

“Kamiki,” he said, a warning threat on his voice. “What did you do this time?”

Kamiki fidgeted in his seat, avoiding eye contact with everyone else. “I was writing this program for file and password decryption and… sort of accidentally hacked into Inoo-kun’s files,” he said guiltily.

There was a beat of silence before Hikaru’s flimsy card tower collapsed.

“...Only you can do those things accidentally and actually be telling the truth,” Hikaru said in awe.

“Isn’t he the best?” Shida said proudly, kissing Kamiki’s cheek and causing him to blush. Hikaru pretended to vomit into the Monopoly box.

“Wait, what do you mean by Chinen’s new mission assignment? I’ve been with him for the past three days, just like when my mission with Yuto-kun started,” Yamada said. “He hasn’t mentioned anything about it.”

“Isn’t it the girl you’re always with? You know, Nakajima-kun’s best friend, the one Chinen won’t shut up about,” Shida said.

“Ohgo-san?” Yamada said incredulously. “But that’s—it—wait. That actually makes sense.”

Shida leaned back against Kamiki’s shoulder, a slow smile spreading across her face. “Heh~” she said, like she just remembered a very funny inside joke.

“So _that’s_ why he won’t leave her alone. And he kept looking after her when we’re all together in a room. And he did sort of casually ask for her schedule that one time,” Yamada said, counting off with his fingers and staring at his hands. “Wow, I feel really stupid right now.”

“That’s not exactly new,” Hikaru piped up, grinning at the death glare Yamada sent at his direction.

“But isn’t it awesome? Chinen-kun’s assignment turning out to be Nakajima-san’s friend,” Kamiki commented.

“Yeah, Inoo-kun thinks that fate is his middle name,” Yamada deadpanned.

“I think he’s warming up more to ‘Cupid’ to be honest,” Shida said.

Yamada was about to say something when his phone began ringing. He looked at the unregistered number for a moment before pressing Answer.

“Hello?” he said cautiously.

“Are you dressed?” a voice that he recognized as Ohgo said without preamble.

“What?” he said, raising himself from his position on the couch.

“Just answer the question,” she said.

Yamada looked down at his jeans, v-neck shirt and gray hoodie. “Uh… I am?”

“I’m right outside. Can I kidnap you for a bit?” she asked.

“What? You’re outside? How did you even know our place?” he said, looking at the other three people in the room who were all raising eyebrows from hearing his part of the conversation. “Uh, never mind, okay. I’ll just… get my stuff?”

“See you,” she said, then cut the call. Yamada brought down the phone from his ear and stared at it.

“Did she just hang up on me?” Yamada asked faintly.

“What just happened?” Hikaru asked.

“...I don’t know,” Yamada said, dumbfounded, still staring at his phone. He snapped out of it and stood up, grabbing his phone and wallet and pulling a beanie over the impossible mess that is his hair before stuffing his feet into sneakers and shrugging on a black leather rider jacket.

“I’ll be out for a bit. I guess,” he said, waving goodbye to the three Monopoly players before exiting the room. Shida looked at the closed door, a worried frown on her face as Hikaru looked at boxes of board games they had.

“...Game of Life?” he offered.

 

“I thought you had an actual emergency,” Yamada said, his voice muffled from behind the pile of clothes he was carrying in his arms. For some reason, Ohgo had dragged him to a nearby mall and was making him carry the clothes she wanted to try on.

Ohgo looked up from the two tops she was considering. “I didn’t say anything about an emergency. Does your brain automatically go to the worst case scenario?” she said. “You should really be more optimistic about life.”

Yamada laughed. “Sorry, occupational hazard,” he said, blowing away a piece of lacy ribbon that was getting into his mouth. “What’s the occasion anyway?”

“I just wanted to spend time with you,” she said. “Can’t girls bond with guy friends too?”

He snorted, pointedly shifting the pile of clothes in his arms. “This relationship has got to be two-way at some point in the near future,” he said.

“Awww, would you like to try on some too?” she asked, and then held up a white dress with a huge red rose spreading from the hem of the skirt to him. “This would look good with your skin tone!”

“Never mind,” he said, adjusting his grip on the clothes. “What’s the occasion, anyway? Are you going to a party or something?”

She took some time to answer, putting back the dress on the rack and absently playing with the frills at the hem. “It sounds shallow but... I want to look pretty,” she said with a sigh.

He blinked, genuine confusion in his face. “But you _are_ pretty,” he said.

She smiled and looked down, letting her hair fall forward and cover the blush on her face. “Thank you,” she said, her sincere gratitude laced into every syllable. He grinned, nudging her lightly with his elbow while somehow managing to balance all the clothes.

“Anybody particular in mind you want to impress?” he said with a grin. Her blush deepened, and even as she turned her back on the pretense of looking at dresses at another rack Yamada could see the splotchy red of the blush spreading on the back of her neck.

“I’m doing this for myself… but maybe,” she said, casually shrugging.

“Well I’m sure he’ll like whatever you choose in the end,” he said.

“You think?” she asked.

He grinned. “Or, you know, I can threaten him about not hurting you or making you cry, like a certain someone I remember,” he said, his tone teasing.

She whirled around and whacked him on the arm. “Hey, it was a perfectly legitimate concern!” she protested.

“Yeah, dragging me off to a coffee shop and threatening to cause me pain of the highest degrees is not scary at all,” he continued, pretending to shudder. “I think I’ve developed a phobia for coffee shops.”

“Chinen-kun is rubbing off you,” she said, flinging two more dresses into the pile in his arms in retaliation and marching off.

“I resent that!” he called out, following after her. She turned around, grabbed a pastel blue dress and stared at it for a few moments.

“I’ll get this one!” she said decisively. Yamada poked his head out from behind the clothes he was carrying.

“How about all of these?” he asked. She smiled in response and he groaned.

“Just what exactly were those past three hours for?” he said in a resigned voice.

“Sorry,” she said, then pulled out a dress from the pile in his hands. “I want to get this but I’m not sure if it’ll fit me,” she said.

“Why don’t you go try it out?” he said, inclining his head towards the direction of the fitting room. He gestured to the clothes in his arms. “I’ll just return the rest from where we got them. Saves the shop attendants the trouble.”

“No, I can do it myself—” she said, reaching for the clothes.

Yamada stepped back. “You do have to wait for your turn in the dressing rooms, though. It’s fine, really, it won’t take me more than a minute,” he said.

Ohgo hesitated, looking at him before smiling. “I could see why Yuto smiles more these days,” she said. Yamada’s brow furrowed at the statement, but before he could ask Ohgo had turned on her heel and had left for the changing rooms.

 

“Why aren’t you with Yuto-kun today, though?” she asked, holding up a couple of neckties against his cheek.

“My official assignment is as an undercover bodyguard while he’s at school,” Yamada said, fidgeting. “Why are we here?” he added in an undertone.

“We’re shopping,” she answered, puzzling over an overwhelming display of cufflinks.

“But it’s the men’s section,” he said.

She looked at him. “We’re shopping for _you_ ,” she said, an excited twinkle in her eyes, going back to a pair of cufflinks shaped like guns and talking to a shop attendant. Yamada discreetly peeked at the price tag of the neckties and stared in disbelief, forgetting protocol and his shyness at the moment to go up to Ohgo.

“Ohgo-san,” he hissed under his breath, pulling at the sleeve of her cardigan.

“What is it? Do we have to escape from assassins?” she whispered back. “I could totally pull out ninja moves in these heels.”

“We can’t shop here, I can’t afford the things in this place!” he said, sounding distressed. “They have too many zeroes!”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “And don’t call me by my surname, Suzuka is already fine.”

“But—” he started to protest. Ohgo just laughed and put her hands on his shoulders, making him turn, still protesting, as she pushed him towards the direction of the fitting rooms.

 

“You _own_ this mall?” Yamada said, poking his head out from behind the changing room’s curtain. Ohgo sighed, pushing at his forehead lightly with her fingertips to make him go back inside.

“Not me exactly, but yes, my family owns this mall. This store, specifically, but let’s not get into that,” she said. “So don’t worry about payment, it’s on the house.”

“I can’t accept something like this, Ohgo-san,” he said, sounding highly distressed.

“The shop attendants know you’re with me since you won’t stop calling me by my surname, so you don’t really have a choice,” she answered. “They won’t make you pay, or even accept your money even if you tried.”

“That sounds extremely unfair and I don’t even know why,” he said.

Ohgo laughed softly. “Just try on the suit, Yamada-kun, it won’t hurt you,” she said. “And really, stop calling me by my last name or I’ll get you another suit.”

“You should call me by my first name too, since we’re doing this. Or ‘Yama-chan’, or whatever you’re more comfortable with, really,” he said.

She smiled. “Yama-chan, then.”

He shrugged off his leather jacket (“Really? A leather jacket? You’re a walking character study.” “It was on sale!”) and his hoodie, slipping his shirt over his head and taking off his beanie with it. “Why a suit though?” he asked, raising his voice a little to be heard from the thick curtain.

“Since of the secret agent thing. You have to channel your James Bond sometimes in fancy events, and it’ll be nice to make sure you look handsome when you do,” she answered. “Chinen-kun wouldn’t stop quoting James Bond after that. He said he’ll find a mission assignment that would make him wear a suit all the time.”

Yamada paused and then poked his head out of the curtain so fast he almost hit his head against Ohgo, who was leaning on the wall next to the stall he was changing in. “Wait, Chinen— _you know_?!”

“He told me,” she said, taking in the expression on Yamada’s face. “...was he not supposed to do that?”

“Honestly? I don’t even know anymore,” he said, sighing. “I didn’t even know he was assigned to you officially until a few hours earlier.”

Ohgo opened her mouth, then fully looked at him for the first time. “You should really put some clothes on,” she said, pushing at Yamada’s bare shoulder that was peeking out of the curtain as well. “You’re giving free fanservice to the shop attendants.”

He blushed, disappearing behind the curtain of the changing stall.

“Ne, Yamada-kun?” Ohgo called out softly, her voice muffled by the drapes that served as the covers of the dressing room.

“Hmm?” he said, toeing off his jeans.

“What do you like about Yuto?”

He paused, embarrassed at how the mirror showed the blush spreading across his neck and face like wildfire.

“...I would really prefer to have this conversation when I’m not taking my pants off,” he said uncertainly.

He heard a delicate cough and a soft chuckle amidst the rustle of fabric. “...too much information aside, I’m really curious though,” she said.

Yamada really doesn’t understand why she was asking him about his opinion about her best friend (boyfriend?) but he considered the question, slowly slipping on the dress shirt and doing up the buttons.

“He’s a genuinely good person. He has so many interests and he pays equal attention to every single one of them, and he never seems to get tired. His existence is like the sun, really: bright and bringing warmth to everyone who knows him,” he said, a smile unconsciously finding its way to his lips. “He’s a really good person.”

He could hear the smile in Ohgo’s voice when she replied. “You really like him, don’t you?” she asked.

“He’s a very likable person. It’s not like he makes it difficult for anyone and everyone to like him,” he replied as he slipped on the dress pants and vest before carefully putting on the suit jacket. Something about the laugh Ohgo made in response to his statement sounded suspiciously a lot like what Inoo would sound like, but Yamada thought he was just being too paranoid. Not everyone is out to matchmake him, right? Ohgo doesn’t even know who Inoo is.

(.................Right?)

He faintly heard the sound of Ohgo’s phone receiving a message as he fussed over the knots of his tie. When he had successfully knotted the piece of fabric at the base of his throat without strangling himself, he looked at himself in the mirror. Ohgo had coordinated everything he was wearing, and the three-piece suit’s dark color complemented the lightness of his hair. The fit was comfortable and the pants were just the right length, and there were hidden pockets inside that could easily hide his weapon holsters. As he adjusted the sleeves, he noticed that it was loose around his wrists.

“Ohg—S-Suzuka-san? I think I need cuff links for this,” he called out. When there was no response, he pushed the curtains to the changing stall open, expecting to see her still leaning against the wall next to his changing stall. When he went out, there was no one else outside.

“That’s weird,” he whispered to himself, looking around to double check. When he didn’t see anyone he let himself out of the fitting rooms, shying away from the shop attendants who started gushing over him when they saw him decked out in the suit. Ducking behind a mannequin to hide from a (very adoring) store manager, he turned and bumped headfirst into somebody’s chest.

“Oh man I am so sorry—” he said, holding on to the stranger’s arms (those are some serious muscles, a part of his brain noted) to steady himself.

“Yama-chan?” a familiar voice asked.

“You’re kidding me,” Yamada whispered to himself as he looked up.

Nope. Definitely Yuto. Yamada’s neck recognized the height of the guy.

“Wait—what are you—why—but Suzu—wow—I mean—” Yuto said, spluttering, for some reason, as he looked at Yamada.

“If you guys are done feeling each other up, feel free to tell me, I’m chill,” another familiar voice said. Yamada hurriedly dropped his hands from Yuto’s arms and swivelled his head, gaping at another familiar face.

“Chinen? What the hell are you doing here?” Yamada said, staring in surprise.

“Fetching someone I lost,” he easily replied, poking at the mannequin and wagging a reproving finger at Yamada. “And watch your mouth.”

Yamada resisted making ‘Chinen you are just a very cute version of demon’s spawn’ comments and stared. “But how—?” he began.

“I saw Yutti come in, and then he told me Ohgo-san told him she’s here. Then Mirai-chan called me and told me you got kidnapped and figured,” Chinen said, studying his fingernails and looking relatively bored. He looked up and grinned. “Yutti, you okay there?”

Yamada looked up in time to see Yuto tear his gaze away from him at the last second.

“What? Me? Yeah I’m fine, of course I am, why wouldn’t I be fine?” he said, nervously laughing as he rubbed the nape of his neck.

“Really? Because you looked like you were two seconds away from drooling,” Chinen said, looking pointedly at Yamada as he said this. “Though I won’t blame you; Ryosuke looks surprisingly decent for a change.”

“I don’t know if I should blush or be offended,” Yamada said, scratching at his nose.

“Be happy, that’s all the praise you’ll ever get from me,” Chinen replied.

“Yama-chan! I was looking for you!” Ohgo said, arriving and immediately hitting Yuto on the arm.

“Ow, what was that for?!” Yuto asked indignantly, rubbing at his arm.

“Why are you already here? You ruined my surprise!” she said.

Yuto stared. “What— _you_ asked me to go meet you here!” he said.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry much about that Ohgo-san, Yutti looked surprised enough to me,” Chinen said, grinning at Yamada.

“But I wanted to see Yuto-kun’s expression and take pictures!” she said.

Chinen held up his phone. “Already taken care of,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her afterwards. “That aside, please don’t randomly disappear on me again, Ohgo-san.”

Ohgo shifted in obvious guilt, now partially hidden behind Yuto. “Sorry,” she said in a small voice.

Yamada doesn’t understand what’s happening anymore.

Yuto moved towards the cuff links display, picking out a pair shaped like crescent moons and stretching them out to Yamada.

“I think this would look good with your suit,” he said, his eyes looking everywhere but at Yamada’s face. He caught up Yamada’s wrists and fastened the cuff links on himself, his fingers lingering over the skin of Yamada’s pulse points before being stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.

“Thanks,” Yamada said, fingering the miniscule silver moons on his sleeves. Yuto ducked his head and nodded in reply, a small smile on his lips.

“Why the moon, though?” Chinen asked nonchalantly.

Yuto looked up and eyed Yamada’s mussed up hair, his shoulders lifting up in a shrug. “He’s like moonlight?” he offered as a reply.

Ohgo smiled. “Light at the darkest part of the night,” she mused, nodding in approval. “Yuto-kun and his metaphors.”

“Y-you don’t have to put weird meanings into it,” Yamada said, meeting Yuto’s gaze and giving him an apologetic smile. Yuto’s lips lifted at the corners, the smile not fully reaching his eyes. He picked up a silver bracelet and held it up against the light before reaching out and handing it to Yamada as well.

“Here. A gift from me as well,” he said, gesturing to Yamada’s suit. “Since Suzu-chan did a good job with everything already. I felt the need to contribute.”

“What do you think, then?” Ohgo asked, standing back next to Chinen and crossing her arms over her chest while proudly surveying her work. At their request, Yamada gave them a little turn, folded fingers into fists touching the edge of his sleeves and smiling in embarrassment at their approval. Ohgo addressed the question to Yuto, who had a little smile on his face as he watched Yamada fuss over his cuff links and touch the bracelet Yuto had gotten for him.

Yuto crossed his arms over his chest, the matching bracelet he had on his wrist glinting faintly under the shop’s lights as he met Yamada’s gaze and smiled, his answer only reaching Ohgo and Chinen’s ears.

_“He looks perfect to me.”_

 

“Why did you tell Suzuka-san you were her guard?” Yamada asked on their way home. They both saw Yuto and Ohgo home (much to their reluctance) and opted to take the train home rather than get a taxi, lucking out and getting on an almost empty carriage. Chinen was seated on the end of an empty row with Yamada’s paper bags containing his suit on the seat next to him, Yamada standing up and hanging on to the overhead handrail in front of him, feeling too tense to sit down.

“I don’t like lying to her. She’s smart and she could handle it,” Chinen said, shrugging. “She had the right to know.”

Yamada remembered the conversation in the cafe, the way Ohgo’s hands had tightened around her coffee cup when she told Yamada, her voice shaking but clear, how she didn’t like lies and secrets and nodded his head in understanding.

“But you did say the confidentiality clause was in your contract,” Yamada said, his voice neutral but genuinely curious.

Chinen sat back, stretching his legs out in front of him, turning in his seat to watch the Tokyo cityscape pass by them and refusing to meet Yamada’s eyes when he answered.

“I slipped on purpose,” he said, his voice soft and heavy. “Just in case I needed a reminder of who we are and where we both stand.”

 

“...Uh,” Yamada said intelligently while trying to not drop the tray he was holding as he stared at Yuto. “...Why are you sniffing my hat?”

Yuto jumped in his seat, guiltily dropping Yamada’s beanie on the table. “I—I wasn’t!” he said, hurriedly swiping a book from a table to cover his reddening face.

“I just saw you,” Yamada pointed out, carefully depositing the tray on their usual table outside the university cafe. “And you’re holding the book upside-down.”

There was a pause, after which Yuto righted the book and continued to hide behind it, refusing to answer Yamada’s question. Yamada smiled as he began unloading the contents of the tray on the table and depositing the empty tray on the free chair beside him. The two of them were alone today, Ohgo summoned by her parents to attend one of their many charity functions. They also not-so-subtly reminded her that she could bring a plus one, and she had brought Chinen along (her parents not having any clue she knew that Chinen was her bodyguard) without batting an eyelash.

“Your coffee’s gonna go cold if you just leave it there,” Yamada said, digging into his strawberry waffle. Yuto made a noncommittal grunt from behind the safety that the book provided.

Yamada looked up and stared at the cover of the book that Yuto was (pretending to read) holding, catching Yuto glancing at him from over the top. The hat-sniffer fidgeted and raised the book again, though he was still unable to hide the red tips of his ears.

“You probably think I’m really weird,” Yuto mumbled.

“Seriously Yuto, it’s fine. I don’t mind,” Yamada said.

“But it’s embarrassing!” Yuto wailed out, lowering the book and pouting at Yamada. “Suzu-chan’s always told me other people might find it weird…”

“It’s cute, actually,” Yamada said with a smile.

“Now you’re just making fun of me,” Yuto replied, his pout still in place.

“I’m not!” Yamada insisted, though he still had a smile on his face. He tilted his head towards Yuto’s direction, holding up his beanie. “So.... will I ever know the mystery behind the hat-sniffing?”

“...Your shampoo smells really nice?” Yuto said lamely, still refusing to look at Yamada directly in the eye.

Yamada scratched at the back of his neck, feeling warm all over. “Uh… thanks…?” he said, embarrassed for some reason.

“It smells really good recently, too,” Yuto said. “Did you change it or something?”

Yamada thought about forgetting to buy shampoo at the grocery and how he’d been borrowing Inoo’s (undoubtedly expensive) shampoo for the past few days.

“Something like that,” he answered, picking up the beanie and stuffing it over his unruly hair. He caught Yuto’s expression—halfway between a smile and something else. He tilted his head towards the taller guy. “...do you want to know the brand or something…?”

Yuto laughed and shook his head, putting down his book. “Nah, I prefer smelling it on you,” he said.

“I’m going to pretend that didn’t sound creepy in any way,” Yamada replied. He raised his eyebrow at Yuto. “You’re coffee’s probably stone cold by now.”

Yuto immediately picked up his mug and sipped at his coffee, making a face that elicited a laugh from Yamada. The both of them returned to their books, Yamada laughing and ordering another coffee for Yuto that he got changed for an iced green tea latte.

 

 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Yuto asked as they entered the grocery store.

Yamada shrugged. “I needed to get some stuff anyway,” Yamada said, guiltily thinking of all the shampoo he had swiped from Inoo. “Shida-chan also took the opportunity to make me get ingredients for tonight’s dinner, so all’s good.”

“Oh,” Yuto said, grabbing a shopping cart and walking ahead. “Well, if you say so, okay. Thanks for coming along.”

Yamada raised his eyebrow at the way Yuto’s tone sounded… off? He shrugged it off and hurried forward so he was walking next to Yuto.

“What did you want to buy again?” Yamada said, taking out his phone to check the message Yuto had sent him earlier.

“Flour, baking powder and sugar,” Yuto recited. “Suzu-chan said I should get enough to fit all the orders she’s expecting for the bake sale  for charity but I really don’t know which kind to get…”

Yamada nodded, craning his head and finally locating the dry goods section of the grocery store. “They have a wide range of brands you can choose from,” he said, looking down on his phone screen for the brands Ohgo had listed when he had asked her after Yuto contacted him and then looking at the shelves. “Here, found them!”

When he didn’t hear a reply he looked around. Yuto was nowhere in sight. He got out of the baking supplies aisle and looked left and right, finally spying him in front of a small booth offering free taste samples for various in-season fruits.

“Yama-chan, look! They have strawberries!” Yuto called out, popping one into his mouth as he spoke.

Yamada swatted lightly at Yuto’s arm when he reached him. “Please don’t randomly disappear on me,” he said. 

“But strawberries!” Yuto said, holding one up to Yamada. “Try one?”

Yamada looked at the strawberry Yuto was holding up before snapping it up, his lips accidentally touching the tips of Yuto’s fingers.

“Oh wow,” Yamada said through a mouthful of strawberry. He turned to the free sample booth and plucked another strawberry from the small basket provided in the display, smiling at the sweetness of the fruit.

“We’ll get three packs, please,” he said to the girl at the free taste booth. As she was packing up the strawberries that Yamada was going to take, Yamada turned back to Yuto. He found him with a dazed expression on his face, one hand held limply in midair.

Yamada tilted his head in confusion, waving a hand in front of Yuto’s face. “Earth to Yuto-kun~ hello?” he said.

Yuto blinked slowly and started, looking at Yamada and quickly dropping his hand. “Oh,” he said, clearing his throat and rubbing at the nape of his neck. “Uh, sorry.”

Yamada’s brow furrowed, but before he could ask Yuto about what he was thinking, the girl handed him his strawberries. Soon the incident was forgotten in the midst of carrying bags of flour back to Yuto’s car and Yamada convincing Yuto not to buy things (“But it’s on sale—!” “No Yuto-kun, you do _not_ need five kilograms of basashi!”) (“You are _not_ paying for my strawberries!” “But I bothered you today!” “I’m giving one pack to you, what’s the use of paying for a gift?!”).

On the drive to Ohgo’s house Yamada caught Yuto stealing little glances at him at the rearview mirror while he was driving. When asked, Yuto’s face only reddened as he shook his head and refused to answer.

 

“Are grocery dates a thing now?” Inoo had asked when Yamada arrived.

Yamada stopped full on his tracks, staring at Inoo with his mouth agape in surprise. “What the—?” he began, stopping when he felt someone taller crash into his back.

“Ow—Hikaru-kun!” Yamada said. “Where did you— _you followed me to the grocery store_?!”

“I wasn’t, how dare you!” Hikaru said, vainly trying to hide the grocery bag (the same grocery Yuto and Yamada came from) he was carrying behind his back. “I just happened to see you!”

“Yeah, that and you love cats,” Yamada said in reply.

“Don’t you dare mention cats!” Hikaru said, visibly shuddering.

“Then stop stalking me on my official assignments!” Yamada said, blushing.

“I prefer calling it ‘keeping tabs on my subordinates’!” Inoo said, pausing on his way to his study and smirking at Yamada.

 

“You two are so infuriatingly cute,” Hikaru said later when Yamada made the mistake of talking about it. “When are you two gonna stop keeping up all this unnecessary sexual tension and just start making out?”

Yamada swatted a pillow at Hikaru straight to his face in reply, his cheeks reddening. “Shut up.”

“Hikaru! Don’t teach bad things to the children!” Inoo called from his study.

“Why are you talking like you’re my parents?!” Yamada hollered back.

“Don’t talk back to your mother like that,” Hikaru said, chucking the pillow back at Yamada.

“I thought _you_ were the mother, Hikaru, you traitor! You’re wearing the flower apron for a week!” Inoo replied. “Yamada, just kiss the Nakajima kid already!”

“You’re clearly the worst influence in this agency!” Yamada yelled at the direction of his boss’ office.

“Shut up, I’m reading my manga!”

“How is he our boss?” Yamada asked Hikaru, who shrugged and went back to his computer, probably hacking some other government agency’s confidential files or something.

 

 

“Did a bakery explode on your face?” Inoo casually asked. Yamada frowned at Inoo and shook his head at him, little flour clouds descending onto Inoo’s black sweater. “Oh were you on one of those novelty date things with Yuto-kun? Kids these days find so many ways to have fun.”

“It wasn’t a date!” Yamada said, dusting off more flour from his leather jacket. “And you’re not that old, stop speaking like you’re ancient.”

“This is cashmere!” Inoo said, affronted, as he began vigorously dusting off the white powder that clung to his sweater.

Yamada shrugged. “Tough. Send it for dry cleaning then,” he said.

Inoo glared at Yamada. “I’m taking this off your salary,” he said.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Yamada said.

“What’s going on?” Hikaru said, entering the room with Kamiki following right behind him. He did a double take when he saw Yamada. “Why are you covered in flour? Did terrorists attack you in a kitchen or something?”

“It was just a food fight,” Yamada mumbled, taking off his jacket and brushing off more flour from his sweater.

“Food fight with who?” Kamiki innocently asked. When he didn’t get a reply, he looked up to see Yamada with a red face and Inoo and Hikaru with identical grins on their faces. “...did I miss a joke?”

“It’s obviously with Yutti,” Chinen said, poking his head from behind Kamiki, having just arrived himself.

“Traitor,” Yamada said, angling a glare at Chinen’s direction.

“You just really suck at all games, Ryosuke,” Chinen replied.

“Why did you leave me alone in that kitchen with Yuto? I thought we were only supposed to be helping Suzuka-san?”

“Do you think I’d allow her to be in the same room as your flirting and rough housing?” Chinen said.

“It wasn’t flirting! It was a food fight! That _you_ actually suggested and started!” Yamada said, sneezing  after his outburst from the flour that had been shaken off his hair from his constant movement.

“You were throwing around flour and other food stuff! Which was a total waste, by the way,” Chinen replied, waving a hand in front of his face. “Ugh, don’t spread your germs here!”

“He did that so he can go on another grocery date, I bet,” Inoo said, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“Mirai-chan’s not going to like this,” Kamiki said, nodding towards the flour covering the perimeter of the space Yamada was standing on. “Chinen-kun just cleaned there earlier.”

“Oh shush, Kamiki-kun, we’re discussing something important here,” Chinen scolded. Hikaru turned to Yamada with an expression on his face that Yamada was scared to see.

“What base have you gotten to, then?” he asked, eyes twinkling.

“There are no bases, you pervert!” Yamada half-shouted in a strangled voice. Hikaru shot a conspiratorial grin back at Inoo, then shook his head at Yamada.

“Then why do you sound so guilty?” Shida said, cleaning a knife with a soft cloth as she entered the room. She looked up and raised an eyebrow at Yamada. “Why do you look more like an old man than usual?”

“It’s the smoke effect,” Chinen said, raising a part of Yamada’s jacket and flapping it out, the flour coming off in small puffs to illustrate. “How much flour did you even waste to begin with? Are you children?!”

“Flirting through food fights,” Hikaru mused. “Ah, young love.”

Yamada shook off his jacket and lobbed it straight at Hikaru’s face, causing the latter to cough at the flour clouds that came from the action.

Chinen laughed and patted Yamada’s head, which resulted in a flour-covered hand and more flour clouds coming out in small puffs from Yamada’s hair.

“You’re cleaning everything up, okay?” he merrily reminded Yamada.

“Eh~” Yamada groaned. Hikaru stuck out his tongue at him and threw back Yamada’s flour-infused hoodie at him.

“Inoo-kun, Hikaru-kun’s throwing around the jacket too! Shouldn’t he help in cleaning up?!” Yamada complained. Inoo stood up from the couch and ruffled Yamada’s hair, giving Yamada an angelic smile.

“No,” he said. “And you’re still paying for the dry cleaning of my sweater.”

“Why am I friends with all of you?” Yamada muttered under his breath.

 

Yamada stopped in his tracks as he saw Ohgo and Chinen by their usual seats in class. Yuto was strangely absent.

“Where’s Yuto-kun?” he asked, slipping  the strap of his backpack off his shoulder. “Shouldn’t he already be here?”

Ohgo tilted her head towards Yamada’s direction, looking confused. “He told me he was with you,” she said, raising her eyebrows at the sound of Yamada’s phone. “Oh.”

“What was that supposed to mean?” Yamada said as he pulled out his phone to check the mail that had just arrived.

 

_From: Nakajima Yuto_

_Subject: I’m skipping class!_

_I’m at the abandoned playground behind the Economics building!_

_Sorry for not telling you earlier :c_

_Come join me? <3_

 

Yamada stares down at his phone’s screen.

“A heart emoji,” Chinen observes as he peered down the screen of Yamada’s phone, being the shameless snoop that he is. “Atta boy.”

“Has anyone told you that reading other people’s correspondence is a crime?” Yamada said, clicking his phone close. Ohgo merely smiled and went back to writing something down on her notebook, probably notes for class.

“That’s for written correspondence, and besides it was open,” Chinen countered, already handing Yamada’s bag back to him.

“You’re unbelievable,” Yamada said, rolling his eyes and hoisting the backpack straps up his shoulder.

Chinen made shooing motions with his hands. “Go on, you’re late for your date,” he said.

Yamada felt the tips of his ears turn red. “We’re skipping class,” he said, glaring at Chinen.

Chinen grinned. “ _Together._ ”

Yamada opened his mouth, but before he could talk he could reply he saw Ohgo subtly raising her notebook for Yamada to read what she had written on it. The way they were seated, Chinen couldn’t see what she wrote in her message for Yamada, but it seemed like they were enjoying embarrassing him anyway.

_Enjoy!_

His eyerolls were for both of them this time around, and he sends a silent question to the universe as he exited the classroom as to how he has managed to surround himself with people bonded to make his life fit for a reality show.

But maybe the secret agent part was doing more than enough for that.

 

 

“Not that I like Math class...” Yamada said, slowly sinking down into the other free swing seat. “But I do not approve of you skipping class.”

“Aw come on, don’t be such a killjoy,” Yuto said good-naturedly, pushing  at the ground with his feet and setting the swing he was sitting on in motion. “Besides, I did it for you!”

“Huh?” Yamada said, clearly confused as he took a seat on the other swing. “I’m not sure how I feel about being used as an excuse to skip class… but… thank you?”

“You look really tired,” Yuto said, his concern evident in his voice. “So I skipped class. And since you’re my bodyguard, you have to skip class too.”

Yamada laughed at the unabashed pride in Yuto’s voice. “You juvenile delinquent,” he said, grinning.

“I would make a convincing yankee, to be honest,” Yuto said with a laugh.

Yamada laughed. “Yeah right,” he said.

“Hey! That sounded like you don’t have faith in my delinquent possibilities,” Yuto said with a pout. “I could totally pull off blond hair and a yankee style.”

Yamada laughed as he tried to imagine actual puppy dog Nakajima Yuto as a yankee. Maybe, but nah.

“Are you sure you’re okay though?” Yuto said, equal amounts of concerned and persistent.

Yamada smiled, breaking it off with a yawn that he quickly hid behind his hand with a laugh. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” he said. He looked around at the hidden copse of trees that Yuto had told him about. “Wow, you’ve really found a nice place.”

Yuto grinned. “Isn’t it nice?” he said, eyes sparkling. “It’s my secret place. No one really bothers going here, so it’s always nice and quiet. Yama-chan’s the first one I brought with me here!”

“Really?” Yamada exclaimed. He willed himself to _not blush_ as Yuto enthusiastically nodded his head.

“And so, we are here,” he announced, spreading his arms out wide. “It’s a nice place to doze off in and just be alone but be connected with nature. I think the Germans have a word for it: _waldeinsamkeit_.”

Yamada smiled. “I like that,” he said wistfully.

Yuto grinned at him and kicked at the ground, slowly gaining momentum. “It’s nice, being alone here with you.”

Yamada set his own swing in motion, thinking about how he couldn’t agree more.

The sunlight filtered down through the leaves of the trees— _komorebi_ , the Japanese call it—bathing Yuto and Yamada together in the midst of the sea of trees and nature and each other.

 

 

“Yuto-kun, I prematurely refuse to fish you out of a duck pond,” Yamada called out as he watched Yuto taking position on the edge of the bank, leaning his elbows lightly on the wooden railings of the fence surrounding the body of water. “Please don’t try me, I can’t swim if you decide to accidentally fall in.”

“Sorry,” Yuto said, sheepishly lowering his camera and stepping back into safer, higher ground. “I’ll try to be more careful. But hey, I only almost fell in twice!”

“That’s still two times too many!”

“I guess it is… but look at this place! It’s like it’s asking me to take all the pictures!”

Yamada laughed at the way Yuto flailed his arms as he almost lost his balance (again), gesturing at the picturesque (a word Yamada learned from playing referee to Inoo, Shida, Hikaru and Kamiki’s Scrabble battles) park around them. It was the peak of summer, and nature was in the in-between phase of bursts of bright colors and mellowing out into the warmer shades of autumn. They all had a free cut at school, and Ohgo and Yuto had both wheedled Yamada and Chinen to go to a park and enjoy the rest of the day. Chinen and Ohgo were both spread on a blanket under the shade of an great old oak tree, both content with their books and lazing around while enjoying the pleasant summer heat. Yuto had immediately pulled out his camera the moment they arrived in the park, positively thrumming in excitement over the beautiful foliage and the perfect lighting conditions and other photography stuff Yamada either didn’t catch or understand. Yamada trailed a few steps behind Yuto, watching the taller guy as he took photo after photo of the ducks and the reflections caught in the water, of the endless expanse of clear blue sky, of the other people strolling around the park, of the trees in their varying shades of summer and autumn, of Yamada—Yamada blinked at the sound of the shutter going off, Yuto’s face poking out from behind the camera still pointed towards his direction as he grinned.

“Hey!” Yamada complained, though by now he was used to Yuto randomly taking his picture with or without his permission. Mostly more the latter than the former, but who’s counting.

“You fitted with the theme,” Yuto said.

“Which is…?”

Yuto stopped walking, considering. “I haven’t decided yet. Maybe something along the lines of ‘pretty’. Or ‘happy thoughts’ can work too,” he said, raising his camera and snapping another quick picture.

“You are unbelievable,” Yamada said, blushing and staring at Yuto while making a futile attempt to cover his face with his hands.

Yuto stopped walking, staring back at Yamada. “What?” he asked.

Yamada shook his head. “How can you say things like that so easily?”

“...Because they’re true?”

“That’s beside the point!”

“What’s the point, then?”

“You… you’re like an open book, Yuto-kun,” Yamada said,

“...I am?” Yuto said.

Yamada nodded, crossing his arms as he leaned his back against the wooden railings. “You’re so honest with your feelings. Your emotions show in your face and I could read what you’re thinking like an open book,” he said, then laughed to himself. “It sounds creepy when I say it like this, but I wish I could be more honest like you are,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s creepy at all,” Yuto said, going to lean on the railing next to Yamada. “And I don’t think it’s Yama-chan’s fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“Part of your job means keeping secrets, right? Sometimes you have to lie in order to protect someone’s life. So, even if I don’t really know what you go through, at least I understand this part about Yama-chan,” he said. “Sometimes, emotions can be dangerous things too.”

“Yeah, they really are,” Yamada agreed.

Yuto smiled, looking out at the ducks swimming on the surface of the pond. “Even if Yama-chan finds it hard to express his feelings, every smile feels like a real treat,” he said. “Chinen-kun said you’ve been smiling more recently, and it’s nice to know that you’re happier.”

Yamada thought of the days since he had taken this assignment, how now it felt more of a normal way of living than an obligation, how protecting Yuto had become a natural, almost ingrained part of his life. Of how this was more than just a job now.

_Oh._

Yuto spoke on, unaware of the thoughts swirling around Yamada’s head. “It’s one of the reasons why I like Yama-chan,” he said, grinning.

“W-what?” Yamada said, shaken from his stupor and staring at Yuto.

“I’m thankful that I got to meet you,” he said. “I know I’m annoying and hard to keep track of, but thank you for always being patient with me,” he said.

Yamada scratched at the bridge of his nose, his hand hiding the small smile on his lips. “You’re no real trouble,” he said. “Guarding you never felt like a job to me. Thank you for being so considerate.”

Yuto blushed (his face went _red_ ) and pushed himself up from the wooden railings, fiddling with the strap of his camera. “T-thank you for thinking that way.”

Yamada does not want to think about it.

Yamada would not even start feeling anything about it.

But as he followed Yuto, watched him take picture after picture, smile in response to Yuto calling his name, and question the warm feeling that had settled in his chest, he knew it was probably too late.

Maybe he had really fallen for the bright smiles and the way he had felt happiness without even thinking about it.

 

Chinen opened an eye at Yuto and Yamada’s arrival, sprawled on his back and spread out on a blanket with an arm draped over his eyes next to a seated Ohgo who was reading. “Oh good, you’re both here. I thought we lost you to kidnappers or something,” he said. “Not that Yamada would allow anyone to hurt Yutti.”

Yamada did not respond, quietly settling down beside Chinen and staring off into space. He consciously avoided meeting Yuto’s gaze as the latter threw himself down next to Ohgo and proceeded to have a whispered argument with her. Even as he did, he could still hear snippets of their conversation from where he was sitting.

“Did you tell him?” she said.

“Wha—of course I didn’t!” he replied.

“Oh for goodness’ sakes, Yuto, I don’t get your brand of shyness at all!”

“You do know that we could hear the both of you perfectly, right?” Chinen drawled out, hoisting himself up to his elbows. Ohgo elbowed Yuto hard on the ribs, making him wince and hold on firmly to Ohgo’s elbow to prevent her from doing it again.

She made an annoyed noise, trying to shake off Yuto’s grip but failing. “I was just reminding Yuto-kun about something he forgot to tell Yama-chan,” she said.

“Suzu—!” Yuto said in alarm, quaking under the glare Ohgo sent his direction.

“No, you are not allowed to argue,” she said sternly before turning to Yamada. “Yama-chan, the shrine near Keio’s having a summer festival, and my friend is too chicken to ask himself but do you want to go with him?”

“Don’t make it sound weird!” Yuto whined. “I’m inviting him as a friend!”

_Friend._

_Huh._

“Uh, sure, if you guys want me there,” Yamada said uncertainly.

“I’m going too, thanks for asking guys, I feel so touched by the invitation,” Chinen said. Ohgo gave him a look.

“You’re going anyway, since you don’t plan on letting me out of your sight,” she said, sighing.

“Hey—” Chinen said, sitting up.

“Anyway, come in proper yukata, okay?” she interrupted, smiling at Yamada. “You’re free to visit our family’s shop if you need anything; just tell them my name and they’ll help you!”

Yamada nodded, Chinen lying back down with a huff and turning his back to Ohgo. Yuto, who was looking through the pictures he had taken earlier, looked up and met Yamada’s gaze and smiled at him before nudging Ohgo and launching into a story of how the ducks attacked him when he almost fell into the pond. Yamada stared at the bracelet he had received from Yuto, thinking about his immediate reaction.

_Friend_ , he had insisted.

_Friend._

 

 

“Yamada-kun,” Inoo said pleasantly, looking up from the profiles he was studying as Yamada slammed his office door open. “What brings you here?”

“Please change my assignment,” Yamada said shortly, stopping in front of Inoo’s desk. Inoo gathered his documents into a pile, tapping the bunch on the desk to keep the loose papers together.

“Chinen-kun just came in a few minutes requesting the same thing,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Yamada. “Is this a boycott of some sort?”

“I don’t—wait, Chinen did what?” Yamada said, momentarily distracted. Both of Inoo’s eyebrows were now raised as he studied Yamada’s reaction.

“Yes, though he left when I asked for the reason why he was requesting an assignment change without saying anything,” Inoo said, putting his hands together under his chin and looking at Yamada over his laced fingers. “Did something happen during your assignment earlier?”

Yamada fidgeted, looking at his scuffed-up shoes. “Nothing in particular,”

Inoo snorted. “Yeah, right. You do know you still have to write a report for this, right? I’m making this easier for you,” he said. “What’s the real deal?”

Yamada palmed the back of his neck, feeling the warm rush of blood under his skin that probably was a sign that he was turning red. “You don’t understand, Inoo-kun,” he said. “Things have gotten more complicated than I expected it to be.”

“Is ‘things’ code word for ‘feelings’?” Inoo asked. Yamada looked up just then, and something in his face must have been enough of an answer for Inoo to make him lean back on his chair with a sigh.

“What do I do with you kids?” he said with another sigh.

“Please Inoo-kun. Just. Let me change my assignment,” Yamada said.

“Then I’m going to ask you the same thing I asked Chinen: do you want to change your assignment for the sake of your client, or are you doing this for yourself?” Inoo asked, his gaze fixed on Yamada’s face. “Aren’t you just running away?”

“I don’t want to make things worse than they are,” Yamada said.

“In what way are things worse than before?” Inoo asked.

“Your plan worked, okay? You won!” Yamada burst out, slamming his hands down on Inoo’s table. “I ended up being the loser secret agent who develops feelings for his subject!”

“How did that equate to you being a loser?” Inoo said, looking up at Yamada and looking unshaken from his show of emotion.

“Because I lost! This game, this gamble you set up with fate or whatever you want to call it, I ended up falling for it!” Yamada said, staring down at Inoo. His hands curled into fists on the smooth wood of the table. “I let my emotions get the best of me—”

“Good,” Inoo said shortly.

“What?” Yamada said.

Inoo stood up, drawing himself up to his full height as he looked at Yamada, a tired and kindly smile on his face. “That’s your answer,” he said.

“I don’t understand,” Yamada said, stopping his rant despite himself.

Inoo sighed. “Yama-chan, you’ve been afraid. Very afraid,” he said. “You don’t want to get hurt. You shut down your feelings before they fully develop, and you never fully express them. Even your friends in this agency only see the side you allow them to. The rest, they learned through studying you and your expressions, your reactions and how you deal with other people. So when Nakajima-kun broke down your barriers, you’re scared because you didn’t realize you’ve already let him through until it’s too late.”

Yamada let Inoo’s words wash over him, feeling like cold water was being dumped over his head. But instead of stinging, Inoo’s words felt… right.

Like these were the words Yamada has been waiting to hear all along.

“You’re scared to love someone because you’re afraid of giving too much of yourself. The same thing happened when I tried to bring you and Shida-chan together. You didn’t even want to think of the possibilities that could be there,” Inoo continued. “I think the reason you were so angry about it back then is the same reason you’re so defensive now. You think the results would be the same.”

“He probably likes somebody else,” Yamada whispered. “I don’t even know if he swings that way—”

“You don’t know, that’s why you’re scared,” Inoo interrupted. He went around his desk and stood next to Yamada, holding him by his shoulders and making him face his direction. “Yes, this is infinitely scarier because you don’t know him as well as you know Shida-chan, but answer me this: you understand that he’s different, right?”

Yamada nodded, a jerky movement of his head that made Inoo sigh as he gently pushed down on Yamada’s shoulders to make him sit down. He let Inoo push him down, suddenly feeling like his legs were made of jelly.

“What happened between you and Shida-chan is different from what could happen between you and Nakajima-kun,” Inoo said. He had crouched down so he was level with Yamada, his hands still on the younger man’s shoulders. “The question is if you would allow it to happen.”

A laugh bubbled out of Yamada’s mouth, a hollow sort of sound that was stress and amusement and frustration and probably love and a lot of emotions Yamada couldn’t bother to name rolled together.

“I think me talking to you like this is enough proof that I’m allowing it to happen, whatever that means,” he said ruefully.

Inoo smiled, grasping Yamada’s shoulders in what could only be his version of a brofist of some sort.

“Good boy,” he said fondly.

Yamada smiled at that. No matter how carefree Inoo seemed to be as a leader of what was supposed to be a top secret agency, he pulled through all the best and worst times.

“Oh, and Yamada-kun?” Inoo said.

“Hm?”

“This may all seem like an elaborate set-up to you, and you know the friendly theories we make when this happens—”

“You mean the bets you start when you matchmake someone,” Yamada shot back. Inoo grinned, accepting the statement.

“But know that whatever I do, if the people I bring together don’t work on what I could have started, everything would end naturally,” he said. “Feelings that develop and things like destiny, they still apply for situations like this.”

“You’re a good guy, Inoo-kun.”

“I know, Hikaru-kun told me.”

“Okay I take that back.”

“And because of that, you’re going shopping with us for the summer festival.”

“Wait, since when did I agree to this?!”

“I’m betting a lot of things will unfold. I want front row seats.”

“Inoo-kun!”

“Give it up, Yamada-kun. Shida-chan won’t let you get away with this anyway.”

“ _Fine!_ ”

 

 

“Why are you here too?!” Yamada complained, giving up on resisting as Shida pulled him and Chinen into the shop owned by Ohgo’s family. Having heard Chinen and Yamada talk about security tactics and equipment they might need to bring to the festival, she had insisted that everyone from the agency should go to the festival for a well-deserved break (which Yamada didn’t understand; are the other people from the agency even working on anything at the moment?) and dragged everyone to go shopping. Inoo and Hikaru had somehow kidnapped Kamiki and escaped Shida’s enthusiasm together (“The traitors,” Yamada muttered under his breath), so Chinen and Yamada were left to deal with Shida’s energy and enthusiasm in their own devices.

“I want to go to the festival so we’re shopping! And we need to make you look pretty,” she said.

“There’s no point, Shida,” Yamada said, pulling back his wrist and making Shida stop in her tracks. Beside him, Chinen quietly stood, looking around the shop.

“What do you mean?” she said.

Yamada sighed. “Inoo’s matchmaking mission is toast,” he said shortly. “So give it up, Shida.”

“Wait, what?” Shida said. She turned to Chinen. “Did you know about this?”

Chinen shrugged, poking listlessly at a mannequin.

“Use your words, Chinen,” she said. When Chinen didn’t respond, she threw up her hands in frustration and proceeded to drag them into the shop. Yamada bowed to the shop attendants who recognized him from the time he went here with Ohgo.

“What color should we get for you?” Shida said, holding up a blue and black yukata side by side, peering at Yamada critically.

“Whatever you want,” Yamada said, playing with the bracelet on his wrist.

She turned to Chinen, holding up a girl’s yukata to Chinen. “Do you like this one, Chii?”

Chinen shrugged, making Shida glare at both of them.

“Honestly! What is wrong with you two?!” she said in exasperation. “Why can’t you at least pretend to be excited about this?”

Yamada looked down at his shoes while Chinen snorted, the first sound they had heard from him since that day in the park.Yamada and Shida both stared at him.

Chinen laughed bitterly, kicking his foot at the intricately tiled floor. “Everything, apparently,” he said. “My life. My existence.”

“Chinen…?” Shida said. He turned away from the hand she was reaching out and took a step towards the exit when Yamada heard two familiar voices, talking and laughing. Chinen had stopped walking too, having heard the same voices that Yamada had.

Ohgo was laughing, trying to put on a hat on (the impossibly tall beanstalk that was) Yuto. He was holding on to her wrists, chuckling as she vainly tried to reach for his head.

“They look like a cute couple,” Shida said softly beside Yamada. His back stiffened, watching as Ohgo tickled Yuto’s sides to make him let go of her wrists.

A blur passed by him quickly, and Yamada blinked before realizing who it was.

“Chinen, what are you doi—?” Yamada said, reaching out to catch Chinen’s sleeve and failing. Yamada and Shida watched in surprise as Chinen marched right up to Ohgo and Yuto, grabbed her wrists out of Yuto’s grip, and pulled at her hand as he tugged her (surprisingly gently) out of the shop.  Yuto stared at the retreating backs of Chinen and Ohgo (who did not say a word throughout this series of surprising events) before slowly bending down to pick up the hat Ohgo was making him wear earlier.

Shida ran up to Yuto before Yamada could do anything (seriously, what is wrong with everyone today?), bowing towards his direction. “I’m so sorry for my friend, I really don’t know what got into him,” she said. Yuto straightened up, blinking at the unfamiliar girl in front of him.

“Eh?” Yuto said in confusion.

“Shida!” Yamada called out, running after her. Yuto had looked up at the sound of his voice, watching as Yamada pulled at Shida’s elbow.

“Oh, Yama-chan!” Yuto said in surprise. “You’re here too?”

“‘Yama-chan’…?” Shida said, looking at Yuto then at Yamada. Her eyes widened in realization, and Yamada hurried to put a hand over her mouth.

“Hello, Yuto-kun. I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over Chinen’s head,” he said, bowing his head while keeping his hand firmly clasped over Shida’s mouth. She was holding on to Yamada’s arm, trying to pull it away from her mouth.

“It’s fine,” he said, staring at the way Shida was insistently digging her elbows into his side. “Uh, Yama-chan, I think she can’t breathe.”

Yamada glanced at Shida and shrugged. “She looks fine to me—OW!” he said, his sentence ending in a yelp as Shida strategically dug her elbow in the side that she knew was sore from training. She removed his hand and gave him a triumphant look.

“Serves you right,” she said sweetly, then turned to Yuto with a glint in her eyes. “So, _you’re_ Yuto-kun.”

He nodded slowly. “Still am, the last time I checked,” he said. “...Do I know you?”

Yamada immediately went in between them, interrupting whatever Shida had wanted to say. “She’s Shida Mirai-chan,” he said, quickly giving Shida a look. “She works in the same place as I do.”

A cloud passed over Yuto’s expression, his smile shaking for a brief moment. “Oh, I see,” Yuto said. “Nice to meet you.”

She bowed and smiled up at him. “It’s nice to finally meet you too,” she said. “Our Ryosuke here talks a lot about you.”

“R-ryosuke?” Yuto said in surprise.

“Please don’t mind her, she likes to lie a lot,” Yamada said.

“I do _not_!” Shida said. “I have everyone’s best interests in heart.”

Yamada turned to her, his voice and expression pleading. “Shidaaaaaaa,” he whined.

“Ryosukeeee,” she shot back, imitating his tone.

“You are not allowed to ask or say anything embarrassing to Yuto-kun,” he said, the threat sounding weak to his own ears.

“You’re not the boss of me!” she replied. “And why am I not allowed to talk to your Yuto-kun?”

“He’s not mine!” Yamada said, his face burning red in embarrassment. He bowed his head towards Yuto. “Please, you really don’t have to listen to anything she ever says.”

“It’s fine,” Yuto said with a smile not quite reaching his eyes. Yamada raised his head, seeing Shida peer up at Yuto with a thoughtful expression on her face.

“Is Nakajima-kun shopping for something to wear to the summer festival too?” she asked.

Yuto nodded. “Is Shida-san going as well?” he asked politely. She nodded, a smile on her face. “I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said happily. Yamada rolled his eyes and snorted, smiling as Shida stuck out her tongue at him.

Yuto dropped the hat he was holding. “B-boyfriend?” he said, his voice cracking as he looked at Shida and Yamada.

She smiled, nodding enthusiastically before checking her watch. “Oh no, Yama-chan, we have to go! We have to meet up with the others,” she said, pulling at Yamada’s hand.

“Eh? But isn’t that for another ho—” he began.

“We still have to conduct a search party for Chinen-kun,” she interrupted. She linked her arms with Yamada and directed her next sentence to Yuto with a smile. “We’re going to make sure your girlfriend gets back to you safely.”

Yuto gave a start. “Oh, she’s not—” he said, then cleared his throat. “Um. Okay. I’ll be… around.”

Shida gave him a small wave before continuing to pull at the arm of a very confused Yamada.

“Why are we being in such a hurry?” he asked under his breath. Shida suddenly stopped, turning to Yuto who had just bent down to pick up the hat he had dropped.

“Oh, what’s Nakajima-kun’s favorite color?” she asked.

“Uh, blue?” he asked, his face a whole different level of confusion altogether.

She nodded. “Thanks!” she said, bowing her head. Yamada bowed at Yuto, waving at him over his shoulder before Shida continued to drag him out of the shop. Yuto had raised his hand in farewell, and the last thing that Yamada saw was the way the smile had slipped from Yuto’s face.

 

“What in the world was that all about?” Yamada asked Shida when they were out of the shop.

“Just checking something,” she replied.

“Whatever you’re planning, Shida, drop it,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her.

“What did I do?” she said, her face a picture of innocence.

“That won’t work with me,” Yamada said, unimpressed.

“But he worked for you,” she said, looking at Yamada. He avoided her gaze, scratching at the back of his neck. Her eyes widened as she pointed at him. “You _like_ him. You actually _like_ him!”

“Leave it!” Yamada said, glaring at her. “It’s not like it’s going to work anyway! And he has a girlfriend!”

Shida stopped. “What? Who?” she asked.

Yamada sighed. “The girl Chinen kidnapped,” he said. “You saw yourself how they were together.”

Shida crossed her arms. “Oh I won’t say anything for sure just yet,” she said mysteriously. There’s a reason why I went up to talk to him.”

Yamada stared at Shida. “What do you mean?”

She shrugged. “I was testing how he’d react to things. Also, I checked if there really was something going on between him and the girl we saw,” she said. Her expression became thoughtful. “The way Chinen acted made me reconsider things about the girl with your Yuto-kun.”

“Ohgo-san?” Yamada said in surprise. “She and Yuto-kun are a couple. I think.”

Shida raised an eyebrow. “You mean you never actually asked?” she said.

“It wasn’t in their profiles, and it’s not like I could just go casually ask them about that!” Yamada argued. “Don’t judge me!”

“Oh Yamada, I’m _always_ judging you,” she said, patting him on the arm.

“On today’s episode of ‘Why am I friends with you’,” Yamada muttered.

“You don’t have a choice,” Shida said smugly.

Yamada sighed.”Unfortunately,” he said.

“I am going to ignore that.”

“You always do.”

 

 

 

_To: Nakajima Yuto  
Subject: None_

_Sorry for earlier._

 

[Delete]

 

_To: Nakajima Yuto  
Subject: None_

_Are you okay? Sorry I had to leave earlier.  
You had a weird expression._

 

[Delete]

 

_To: Nakajima Yuto  
Subject: None_

_Seeing you with Suzuka-san earlier_  
It made me think about a lot of things  
Mirai-chan thought you looked cute together  
I think so too

_I don’t know why that hurts so much._

 

[Delete]

 

_To: Nakajima Yuto  
Subject: None_

_I think I like you.  
Will that be okay?_

_Of course it’s not, ne._  
Sorry for even asking.

[Delete]  
[Delete]  
[Delete]

 

 

“Yamada-kun, I think you shouldn’t be throwing knives at the punching bags,” Kamiki said.

“Leave me alone, Kamiki-kun,” he said, glaring at the punching bag now riddled with knives of different sizes and lengths. “Or the next one goes through you.”

“I will choose to not be offended by that because you have a knife in your hands and you’re being grumpy enough for everyone in the agency,” he said, pulling out a knife that had missed its mark and buried itself on the hardwood floor. “But I’d listen to you if you want to talk about whatever’s bugging you, you know.”

Yamada snorted. “What, and tease me about it like what everyone does?” he said, throwing the next knife into the punching bag with more force than he intended.

“Hey, I don’t even take part in the betting,” Kamiki said, sounding injured.

Yamada sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry,” he said. He tossed a knife up and down, catching it by the blade between the gaps of his fingers and throwing it at the punching bag. It pierced through the leather easily, like all the other knives he had thrown, and suddenly he didn’t see the point anymore. Sighing, he sat down on the floor and stared at the mutilated punching bag, different sized hilts sticking out from the leather and the sports sand from inside already starting to trickle out in some places. Kamiki slowly ambled up to where he was sprawled on the floor and sat down next to him, the knife he had picked up earlier still in his hands.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay because that’s stupid,” he said, gesturing to the punching bag to illustrate his point. “But did something happen while we were shopping? You and Shida had weird looks on your faces.”

Yamada shrugged, lying down on the hardwood floor scuffed up from years of combat training. “Nothing in particular,” he said.

Kamiki let out a noise of disbelief. “Yeah, right. I’m not even going to mention how we had to look for Chinen-kun—who had apparently _abducted_ someone—and when we did find him he was alone, and _tears_ were in the corner of his eyes _,_ of all the things,” he said. “So yeah, _nothing in particular._ Or is that code for a series of unfortunate events? Because that’s what it looked like to me and I missed the memo.”

“Yamada just realized his feelings,” a voice said. Yamada didn’t even bother turning around to see who the female voice belonged to.

“Shut up, Shida,” he said glumly, sitting up and bringing his knees to his chest while staring resolutely at the punching bag.

“That was such a lame comeback, I won’t even comment on all the damage you did here today,” she said, going to lean on the post Kamiki was propped against earlier. She held up a couple of paper bags from the tips of her fingers, Yamada easily recognizing the logo of Ohgo’s shop on the front.

“What are those?” Kamiki said, eyeing the bags with fear. “Inoo-kun and Yaotome-kun already bought me clothes—”

Shida rolled her eyes. “These aren’t for you. They’re for Yamada and Chinen,” she said. She looked over at Yamada slumped over his knees and sighed, stalking over to him and dumping one of the bags in front of him.

“I’m not going, Shida,” Yamada said, still staring at the punching bag.

“Yes you are. You have a job,” she said, then nudged the paper bag with her foot. “And you shouldn’t run away from your feelings.”

“Says the person who avoided me for a month after she found out Inoo was trying to pair her off to me,” he shot back.

“That’s different and you know it,” Shida said, blushing all the same. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship we had, and we both agreed it was for the best that we didn’t end up together.”

“And this is different too!” Yamada burst out. “I can’t actually just start liking the subject of my mission assignment! I’m supposed to protect him, not make googly eyes at him!”

“You can like him _and_ do your job, what’s wrong with that?” Shida countered.

“It’s not professional behavior at all,” Yamada said.

“Are you just reluctant because this seems… made up to you? Because Inoo-kun made this happen in the first place?” Kamiki said. Yamada turned towards him in surprise.

“That’s not—” Yamada began.

“Because the way I see it, Ryosuke-kun, you’re just scared,” Kamiki said, looking down at the patterns on the wooden floor as he said this. “Really scared.”

“Are you picking a fight with me?!” Yamada said, his voice one octave away from hysterical.

“No, you’re already fighting with yourself,” Kamiki interrupted. “You have all these emotions you don’t want to feel and you’re scared you’ll lose the battle and give in.”

“He has a girlfriend,” Yamada pointed out. “I don’t want to break anyone up; that’s why I’m not doing anything. Can’t I be a decent human being?”

“They’re not together,” Shida said. Yamada and Kamiki both turned to look up at her.

“What?” Yamada said. Shida sighed and sat down in front of Yamada.

“I saw Suzuka-chan in the shop when I went to buy these clothes for you guys,” she said. “We ended up talking about… a lot of things.”

“You _asked_ her? About her and Yuto?!” Yamada said, a horrified look on his face. “ _Shida_!”

Shida flicked at Yamada’s forehead. “Will you calm down?!” she said in exasperation. “Besides, you weren’t totally off the mark.”

Yamada, who had opened his mouth to argue, let his mouth hang open. “What?” he said, the implications of her statement sinking in. Shida saw the change in his expression and nodded.

“They were together for all of high school, but they both decided it’s best that they’re better off as friends,” she said. “Their families have always been good friends, and they were the only people in their class who decided to go to Keio. It was an amicable break-up so they ended up drifting closer and becoming friends again.”

“...Oh,” Yamada said, letting his arms fall to his sides. “I see.”

“That’s all you can say?” Shida said. “ _‘I see’_?”

“Mirai-chan,” Kamiki said, putting a hand on Shida’s shoulder. He looked at Yamada. “Your move, Yamada-kun.”

Yamada ran his hands through his hair, tearing at it before speaking. “It’s not just that,” he mumbled.

“If you come up with another lame excuse, I swear—” Shida began.

“Look at me!” Yamada exclaimed, gesturing to himself. When Kamiki and Shida continued to stare at him, obviously not getting his point, he sighed. “I’m… me!”

“We can see that,” Kamiki said slowly. “Was that supposed to be a problem?”

“I’m not good enough,” Yamada whispered. “I can’t ever be a good match to someone like the likes of him.”

“That’s not true, Yama-chan,” Shida said, but Yamada just shook his head. His hand went to the bracelet Yuto gave him, the usual touch on his skin now feeling like a cold, heavy weight on his wrist. His next words came out fast and jumbled, tumbling right out of his mouth one after the other in a race to be expressed.

“I thought he was just this rich kid but he’s more than that. You’d think he’d be snooty and bratty but he’s just really nice to everyone he meets. He’s friends with everyone and he makes you feel like you really matter. His smiles make you feel something good about yourself, and it’s scary how much I feel about him. I’ve known him more from the character profiles I’ve been assigned to memorize about him, and he’s more than just a bunch of facts on endless pieces of paper. He’s human, and scaringly so, and he makes me feel so much and it makes me realize how short the time I have with him, how less I probably have left, and all the wrong things that could happen and it just makes me so scared of who I am, of who he is, and what we have even began to mean.

“He told me he noticed how much I’ve changed from the first time we met, and it’s scary how it seemed like he knew me more than people I’ve known my whole life in this agency. He gets under my skin and through all my freaking walls, and it’s scary how I just let him through. It’s scary how he’s so damn dangerous without even meaning to, and how much I know how dangerous he is to me but I just can’t step away. It’s my job to protect him, but he ended up being a chink in this armor I’ve been wearing all my life. And he’s brought down all my barriers as it is; I don’t have anything left to protect but myself from him, and I’ve already lost.”

Silence rang in the training room. Yamada’s throat felt raw after all the talking, his chest hollow and his eyes stinging. He blinked rapidly, letting all the words he just said wrap around him. Letting himself fully realize what he just said.

“Glad you finally sorted yourself out,” a new voice said. All three of them swivelled their heads towards the direction of the doorway, where Chinen was leaning against the frame with a (surprisingly comforting) familiar half-smirk on his lips. He sauntered over to where the three of them are seated and sat down with his usual grace, positioning himself so he was angled towards Yamada.

“I’m confessing my feelings to Suzuka-san on the summer festival,” he declared matter-of-factly, ignoring the way both Kamiki and Yamada’s mouths dropped open in surprise and how a smug, all-knowing grin spread slowly across Shida’s lips. “Since you’ve finally stopped being a loser and denying yourself of your happiness, you should use this chance to recite your monologue to Yutti as well. Or you can go make out with him under the bright, polluted sky lighted by fireworks, whichever floats your boat.”

“I knew it!” Shida squealed, clapping her hands together in glee. Chinen raised an eyebrow at her.

“Wipe that smile off your face or I’ll kiss you,” he threatened, though a small smile played at his lips.

Kamiki cleared his throat. “Boyfriend here,” he said faintly, still staring at all three of them.

Chinen looked at him. “Do you want a kiss too? Fall in line,” he said to Kamiki, earning an unintelligible choking sound from him and a punch on the arm from Shida. He looked over to Yamada, who still looked shell-shocked from… well, everything.

“Close your mouth Yamada, a swarm of flies can get in there,” Chinen said. Yamada mechanically followed Chinen’s instructions, looking at him and began gaping at him like a fish out of water.

“You—but—since when—” he stopped and stared at Chinen. “So _this_ is why you’re so formal with her? The usually sarcastic jerk who calls everyone with a nickname and their first name calls the girl he likes _with an honorific_ ,” he said, his eyes wide at Chinen.

“Shut your face,” Chinen mumbled, his face reddening.

“I don’t know if I should find that adorable or uncharacteristically lame,” Kamiki said.

“Adorably lame,” Shida amended, sharing a high five with Kamiki.

Chinen glared at Shida and Kamiki. “Old married couples aren’t allowed to make opinions about other people’s love lives when they haven’t even began,” he said.

“We’re not old!” Kamiki protested.

“And we’re not _married_ ,” Shida said, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

Chinen rolled his eyes at them. “Please. You’re ancient and all you need is a marriage certificate,” he said. He turned to Yamada before either of them could try (and fail) to argue their point.

“Yamada. No pressure, but your stupidity will certainly be cemented in history if you don’t tell Yutti what you feel,” he said.

Yamada stared at him. “How can you say that so easily? The last time you were with Suzuka-san, we ended up finding you alone and five seconds away from crying!” he said.

“Because it’s frustrating!” Chinen burst out, tearing his hands through his hair. “It’s frustrating because even when I dragged her away, I still can’t say what I feel! After I basically kidnapped her from you guys, she asked me if I had anything to say and I was just staring at her and holding her hand and I can’t say anything!”

“Chinen-kun…” Kamiki said.

Chinen let out a strangled laugh, smiling at his friends and levelling Yamada a look with a serious glint in his eyes.

“You understand, right? How frustrating it is to just stand there and be unable to do anything,” he said, not waiting for Yamada’s reply before continuing to speak. “Seriously Ryosuke. Tell him.”

Yamada shook his head frantically, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “I can’t,” he said helplessly.

“Not doing anything would change nothing,” Chinen said in exasperation. “If you give up from the start, you can’t do anything. If you don’t give up, things will not end. The possibilities are endless!”

“You really sound like a sports drama right now,” Shida said with the beginnings of a smile on her lips, instantly shushed by Kamiki.

“But what if he ends up hating me?” Yamada said quietly. “He did have a girlfriend before; what if he finds me disgusting?”

“Then he’s not worth it,” Shida said shortly, looking angry at Yamada’s words. “Liking somebody is something you can’t control, and it shouldn’t be treated like a disease. So what if you like a guy too? You’re worth five guys, Yama-chan.”

“But do you really think he’ll be like that?” Chinen said, patting absently at Shida’s arm to calm her down. “This is Yutti we’re talking about here. Whatever his response might be, I’m sure he won’t go far as thinking you’re disgusting or hating you. You of all people should know.”

Yamada let out a short huff of breath that was part sigh and part hysterical laughter. “I barely understand my own feelings. How could I know how he would feel? Everything’s a lost cause.”

“Your feelings aren’t worthless, Yamada-kun,” Kamiki said. He tossed up the knife he had picked up earlier, catching it by the handle and staring down at the punching bag down the blade’s point. “You may think you don’t understand how he works, but the good thing about being humans is that they could _ask_. He could probably be asking the same questions that you have now, for all we know. ”

He took aim, drawing his arm back and letting the knife fly and sail through the air to pierce into the punching bag at the spot right over the last knife Yamada had thrown. Kamiki turned to Yamada, a smile playing on his lips.

“Maybe if you let your feelings be known, you’ll also find the answers you’re looking for,” he said.

Yamada watched how Kamiki’s body unconsciously leant towards Shida as he said all of this, remembered everyone’s advice.

He can’t let their words pass through his ears and just shrivel up and die in his chest.

“...Okay,” Yamada said, staring at the punching bag.

“Okay?” Chinen asked.

Yamada nodded. “Okay.”

Kamiki smiled while Shida clapped her hands and handed the paper bags to Chinen and Yamada, eliciting a groan from the both of them.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Yamada said, looking at the paper bag dubiously.

“But we have to make you look pretty!” Shida argued.

“Why do I have to do this too?” Chinen complained, peeking inside the paper bag.

“Because you’ll be wearing something from Suzuka-chan’s shop. It’s important to make a good impression,” she said.

“She already knows who I am,” Chinen muttered, his face turning a shade pink.

“What did you even talk about that you’re now in first-name terms with her?” Yamada asked Shida, peeking into his paper bag and seeing a mass of blue fabric.

Shida shrugged. “World domination. Guys won’t understand,” she said.

“I feel slightly offended for some reason,” Yamada replied. Kamiki just patted his head.

“You didn’t tell her anything embarrassing about me, didn’t you?” Chinen said, looking slightly nonplussed.

Shida smiled. “Maybe,” she said.

Chinen groaned. “I give up. There goes my chance,” he said, hanging his head.

This time, Kamiki patted Chinen’s shoulder. “There, there.”

“I don’t want a pity party, Ryu,” Chinen said, pouting at Kamiki.

“Did someone say party?” a voice said from the doorway. They all looked up to find Inoo and Hikaru leaning on either side of the doorway.

“Is this a family meeting? Can we join?” Hikaru asked, bouncing on his toes and rubbing his hands together in excitement. Kamiki, Chinen, Shida, and Yamada looked at each other before nodding and simultaneously pushing Inoo and Hikaru out of the door.

“Hey no fair, we want to participate too!” Inoo whined out as Chinen pushed at the small of his back.

“No!” four voices said in unison.

“I pay your salaries!” Inoo argued. “And all your living expenses! And I know one of you guys keeps stealing my shampoo, and you still won’t let us listen?”

“ _Still no_!”

 

 

“If you just let me—”

“You are _not_ making me wear blue eyeliner, Shida Mirai,” Yamada resolutely replied. Shida crossed her arms over her chest, looking like a child whose candy got stolen.

“You are not cute at all,” she complained. “It would complement your yukata so much! You look so handsome and everything!”

“I do not exist for your entertainment!” he said exasperatedly, glaring at Inoo and Chinen afterwards. “Don’t you say anything.”

“We should just have shipped him to an idol agency,” Chinen whispered loudly to Inoo. “We could have earned more out of him.”

“You’re still not allowed to say anything!” Yamada said.

“Can I tell you a joke instead?” Hikaru said, sounding eager as he snapped his paper fan closed.

“No,” a chorus of voices replied. Hikaru pouted, muttering “nobody knows how to appreciate my humor around here” loud enough for everyone to hear.

Everyone ignored him.

“Why are you all here anyway?” Yamada complained, looking at everyone from their agency decked out in yukata with exasperation. “We don’t need a support group and we’re not a freak show!”

“We wanted to see the fireworks competition,” Shida said, swatting at Yamada’s arm with her fan. “Stop acting like it’s your festival, it’s a public event!”

“Yeah Yama-chan, we just wanted to see sparks fly,” Inoo added innocently, accepting Hikaru’s high five. Yamada groaned and Chinen covered his face with his hands as Shida and Kamiki laughed appreciatively.

“I cannot even begin to even at anything anymore,” Chinen declared in defeat, voice muffled by his hands. Yamada fought the smile on his face as he patted Chinen’s arm consolingly.

“Where are you guys meeting them anyway?” Kamiki asked, craning his neck to look through the throngs of people milling around the shrine. The summer festival was in full swing, with vendors hawking out their goods and calling out to potential customers strolling leisurely through the shrine. Yamada looked around, remembering Ohgo’s text.

“They said they’ll be waiting near the tree with the—“ he began.

“The tree where people tie their _omikuji_?” Shida interrupted. Chinen and Yamada looked at her in surprise.

“Have you been eavesdropping on us again?” Yamada asked suspiciously. Inoo inclined his head to his right with a smile. Yamada looked up and stopped in his tracks.

Everyone is going to tease him for being so romantic-movie-cliché, but right now he doesn’t care.

Ohgo was standing next to a pine tree covered with white paper strips, the slight breeze making the _omikuji_ tied to the branches flutter slightly. Next to him, a tall guy had his head down, kicking at stones at his feet. He was wearing ripped jeans, a white shirt, and a sky blue beanie with an oni mask perched haphazardly over it. He looked over and met Yamada’s gaze.

And just like that, he was all that Yamada could see.

The way he straightened up, squaring his shoulders slightly as he angled his body towards them, the involuntary raise of his eyebrows as he became aware of their presence. The way a smile slowly stretched across his whole face, the slight hesitation before he raised his hand and waved at him with his whole body, all flailing arms and large movements. He reached down to tap Ohgo on the shoulder and alert her of their presence, in case she didn’t notice him waving at them already.

Yamada heard Chinen take a deep breath and took a steadying one of his own.

_Now or never,_ he thought ruefully to himself as he took a step forward and raised his arm to wave back at Yuto.

Ohgo was waving at them as well as they approached, giving Shida a small smile and inclining her head to Yamada, and avoiding meeting Chinen’s gaze for some reason. Yuto’s energy was tapered down when he noticed the group that Yamada and Chinen are with. Yamada saw him looking at Shida with a furrowed brow as she turned to chat with Ohgo. He bit his lip and looked away after a moment, catching Yamada looking at him and offering him a hesitant smile that Yamada returned.

Introductions and bows were made, Hikaru casually giving a hard nudge to Chinen that sent him stumbling next to Ohgo and making the both of them blush (which was probably a good sign, as far as signs go). Yuto was still staring at Shida, who was pulling at Yamada’s yukata sleeve while obliviously talking to Ohgo, with a small frown on his lips. She looked up just in time to see Yuto looking away and she grinned.

“Okay, I guess we should go,” she said, looping her arm with Kamiki’s. “Yaotome-kun, Inoo-kun?”

“I’m not going with you lovebirds,” Hikaru said, wrinkling his nose. “I’m gonna go eat a lot of yakisoba and win a turtle at that game over there. C’mon Inoo-chan.”

“Wait, what—” Yuto began, staring, for some reason, at Shida and Kamiki.

“You’re leaving us?” Chinen said. Yamada could hear the barely concealed note of panic in his voice.

“I went here to have a date with my boyfriend, Chinen, not to babysit you,” Shida said, before looking up to Kamiki and smiling sweetly at him. “Let’s get those candied apples, ne, Mikki?”

“Sure,” he answered easily, turning to Yamada and Chinen and giving them a small apologetic shrug with his shoulders before being pulled away by an enthusiastic Shida.

“Have fun kids!” Inoo said, bowing elegantly to Chinen, Yamada, Yuto, and Ohgo before pulling at Hikaru’s sleeve.

Hikaru walked backward, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Don’t forget to use protection!” he called out loudly before being whacked on the head and pulled by the collar by Inoo.

The four people left behind were silent.

“...What just happened?” Chinen asked to Yamada in a distressed whisper.

“...I think they just ganged up on us,” Yamada replied faintly. “Also did Hikaru-kun just say—”

“Let’s not go there,” Chinen said abruptly.

“What are you guys talking about over there?” Ohgo said, looking at the both of them.”Is there something wrong?”

Yamada immediately shook his head. “Chinen was just telling me how pretty he thought you looked, Suzuka-san,” he said, earning a slap on the arm and a frantically whispered “Oi!” from Chinen.

Ohgo blushed but looked at Yamada with a smile. “If he really thinks that way, he can say it straight to my face,” she said. “I’m right here.”

There was a pause, punctuated by Yuto elbowing Chinen’s arm. Chinen looked up at Yuto in surprise, Yuto clearing his throat and inclining his head towards Ohgo. Chinen turned back to Ohgo, a shy smile on his face as he stepped forward to face her.

“You look really beautiful, Ohgo-san,” Chinen said. Yamada urged Ohgo forward with a gentle push at her back, and Chinen sheepishly offered up his arm. Yamada caught the small smile on Ohgo’s face as she slipped her hand into the crook of Chinen’s elbow before she turned to him and Yuto.

“We’ll be going then,” she said, patting Yamada on the arm and giving Yuto a shrewd look.

“What?” Yamada and Yuto said in unison.

“Chinen-kun seems like he has something important to tell me in private,” she said, turning to a surprised Chinen. “Right?”

Chinen began nodding his head fervently, looking very much like a deer caught in headlights.

“Let’s go, Ohgo-san,” he said, slipping out of her hold on his arm and grabbing her hand instead to pull her away.

“But—” Yuto said, looking scared for some reason. Ohgo looked back at him then, and gently slipped her hand away from Chinen’s grip. She marched to where Yuto was standing and pulled down at his arm so his ear was level with her mouth. Yamada watched as she whispered something to Yuto, and how Yuto’s expression changed and looked more… certain. Almost confident. He nodded once, and Ohgo smiled and patted him on the shoulder before walking back to Chinen and taking his hand once again.

“Let’s go?” she asked, smiling over her shoulder at Yuto and Yamada.

Chinen nodded, lacing their fingers together and waving at the other two guys before pulling her away. Yamada watched their retreating backs with a smile on his face before turning uncertainly towards Yuto.

“So…” Yamada said, trailing off as he tried hard to not stare at Yuto’s collarbones from the time Ohgo pulling down at his arm had also pulled down at his shirt collar.

(A lost cause; Yamada was not fooling anyone.)

“...So,” Yuto echoed, looking like he was having a hard time stringing words together as much as Yamada was. Their eyes met, and without any apparent reason the both of them started laughing.

“We may have to put up with a couple after this festival,” Yuto said with a chuckle.

Yamada laughed out loud, thinking how nervous Chinen was on their way to the festival. “I guess we can count on Chinen to be annoying about it,” he said in agreement.

“Suzu-chan can handle him,” Yuto said confidently. Yamada smiled, feeling a pang in his heart and remembering that Yuto and Ohgo were once a couple. More than anyone else, Yuto was more than qualified to make this observation.

“Yama-chan?” Yuto asked, waving a hand in front of Yamada’s face. Yamada blinked and turned to face Yuto, yelping when an oni’s face stared back at him instead. Yuto burst out laughing, removing the mask and perching it on top of his beanie again.

Yamada swatted weakly at Yuto’s arm. “Don’t do that!” he scolded in a light tone, putting a hand to his heart in mock horror.

Yuto held up his hands together in a gesture of apology before blinking, staring at Yamada’s wrist. “Oh,” he said. “You’re wearing the bracelet.”

“What?” Yamada said, looking down at the exposed skin of his wrist from his hitched down yukata sleeve and blushed when he saw what Yuto was referring to. “Oh. Yeah,” he continued, self-consciously holding his wrist and sliding a finger under the metal touching his skin. “I almost never take it off anyway.”

Yuto smiled upon hearing that, holding up his own wrist. “Me too,” he said. He looked around the crowd surging towards the temple steps, oblivious to the way Yamada’s blush had intensified. “Oh, let’s go pray at the temple!” he said excitedly.

Yamada raised an eyebrow, unable to fight the smile that found its way to his face as he followed Yuto. “Have anything in particular to wish for?” he asked as he followed Yuto on his way up the temple steps.

Yuto placed his finger under his chin, appearing to take the question to heart. “... A happy ending?” he said after some consideration, turning back to Yamada and grinning.

Yamada smiled. “That would be nice,” he agreed.

Yuto’s grin widened as he spun back around, momentarily losing balance on the steps. Yamada rushed forward and held Yuto’s arm firmly to help him regain his equilibrium.

“Oops,” he said. “Thanks, Yama-chan.”

“Are you drunk?” he asked jokingly as they began climbing up the steps again. To his surprise, Yuto nodded.

“An oji-san was giving away free drinks at a stall by the entrance of the shrine earlier,” Yuto responded, followed by a hiccup and a breathy giggle. “I think it might have had a bit of _sake_ in it. I’m not really clear about the details. You look fuzzy around the edges, Yama-chan.”

Yamada stopped and stared at Yuto. “You _are_ drunk!” he said in alarm. “And why are you casually accepting things from strangers?! For all we know you could have been drugged!”

Yuto shook his head vehemently. “I barely tasted any alcohol in that drink!” he protested. “And the oji-san looked nice enough!”

“Yuto-kun,” Yamada said exasperatedly. “It’s the same thing as accepting candy from strangers. You just don’t do it.”

“I’m fine!” Yuto insisted. They reached the top of the shrine steps and he spun around, holding out his arms in demonstration. “See?”

Yamada reached out to steady Yuto, who was windmilling his arms and almost toppling down the shrine steps after spinning around. “All I’m seeing is ‘you’re drunk’ and ‘we should get you home before you break your neck’,” he said.

Yuto pouted. “But I want to watch the fireworks with youuuuuuu,” he whined out in a loud voice. Yamada looked around, noticing the attention Yuto was attracting, and bowed to a family whose kids were staring at Yuto before pulling him away to get some fresh air. He kept a firm hold on the taller guy’s elbow as he steered him towards the direction of a stone bench off the cobblestone path leading to the shrine itself.

“Okay, okay, we’ll go watch them,” he said, smiling at the way Yuto perked up at his statement. His hand was still on Yuto’s elbow as he kept him steady, the reassuring feeling of flesh and bone warm against his palm and fingers. They were almost to the bench when Yuto stopped dead in his tracks, looking distracted as he stared at a copse of trees standing at a close distance from it.

“Yuto-kun?” he asked in confusion. Yuto hurriedly put a hand over Yamada’s mouth to stop him from talking and inched closer, pulling a very confused Yamada with him. They hid in the shadow of the trees, and Yamada tried to not think about how warm Yuto’s hands felt on his lips. He tried to ask once more why Yuto was acting like a secret agent, but then he heard a rustle of leaves and he looked past the low-hanging branches and he understood.

Chinen and Ohgo were sitting in the shade of the trees, on a stone bench similar to where Yamada and Yuto were initially headed.

Which would be pretty normal.

Except that they were _kissing._

Before Yamada’s brain could actually catch up with what he was seeing, Yuto was hurriedly pulling him away, surprisingly steady on his feet for someone who was apparently drunk.

“Did they just—” Yuto whispered urgently in an awestruck tone as they briskly walked, dodging a gaggle of girls as they moved away from the trees.

“I think they just did.”

“Did we just _see_ —”

“Let’s not go there,” Yamada interrupted quickly. “I do not want a mental image of my friends kissing each other. Or the memory of an actual physical image.”

Yuto clapped his hands over his ears, letting go of Yamada for a moment. “Okay point,” he agreed, pausing and meeting Yamada’s wide-eyed gaze. “Oh _wow_ , we _did_ just see our friends. _Kissing_.”

Yamada groaned, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Dammit, now I can’t unsee it,” he said, resignation in his tone.

Yuto laughed. “We’re freaking out so much about this, but we’ve been basically waiting for this to happen,” he said.

Yamada grinned and nodded, feeling a weight lift from his chest. “You feel okay now?” he asked Yuto. “Want to go line up for the shrine?”

Yuto nodded excitedly, holding his head after. “Woah,” he said, shaking his head experimentally and wincing. “Can we walk slowly though? I feel like that drunk Tekken character.”

Yamada laughed, putting a hand lightly over Yuto’s back as they went towards the _temizuya,_ the small water pavillion equipped with wooden ladles where shrine visitors wash their hands and mouths before praying to signify the cleansing of the body and the mind before proceeding to stand in audience of the deity of the shrine.

Yamada watched the water splash off Yuto’s long fingers and thought, _I like him._

He stopped, the ladle held aloft, the leftover water trickling down the handle to his hands as he stared at the way the water reflected the lights coming from the paper lanterns, and let out a soft, choked sound that was something between a laugh and probably a sob.

_I like him,_ Yamada thought, a bemused smile finding its way to his lips as he finally understood the feeling that he had in his chest the whole time. The feeling that was there whenever Yuto smiles, the feeling that was there because of Yuto’s existence.

_I like him,_ he thought with wonder. _I really like him._

 

“What are you going to pray for?” Yuto asked. Yamada looked at him and tried very hard not to answer something cheesy (like “the person in front of me right now”, because he knew that the  people in the agency would eventually find out about it and he would never be able to live it down) as he raised an eyebrow.

“Aren’t those things supposed to be private?” he asked by way of a reply.

Yuto’s mouth turned up at the corners. “I just want to know what Yama-chan thinks about,” he said.

“Oh I don’t know. You read me pretty well,” Yamada said.

Yuto grinned. “I try my best,” he answered. They were quiet for a few moments before he nudged Yamada’s arm with his elbow. “I still want a hint though.”

A laugh escaped from Yamada’s lungs, a puff of warm air in the summer heat. “You are so persistent,” he said.

“It’s one of my endearing qualities,” he said determinedly.

Yamada smiled. “I think about the people I care about. There’s a list, actually. Life makes me thankful of all the things, especially this line of work,” he said. “I encounter a lot of people I would never think of meeting. It’s a bunch of miracles, really, and each one makes me so grateful.”

“Am I in that list?” Yuto asked.

Yamada looked at the way the light from the paper lanterns reflected in Yuto’s eyes and nodded.

“Tall guy who takes a lot of pictures of me at the moments I least expect them,” he said teasingly. He saw Yuto pout and laughed, reaching up and poking his cheek. “He made me realize there are a lot of things to smile about, and that it’s okay to be happy at every chance I get.”

Yuto didn’t reply, but the small smile playing at the edge of his lips was enough.

 

Metal coins clattering against the wooden slats of the offering box. The clang of the shrine bell as they pulled the rope together, announcing their presence to the deity of the shrine. The sound the skin of their palms made as they clapped their hands together two times and bowed once in front of the shrine before putting their hands together in silent prayer. Yamada peeked at Yuto before closing his eyes, burning the sight into his memory. As he prayed, the image in his mind was of a tall boy with a bonnet and an oni mask on his head, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks and his lips pressed together in concentration. Yamada let that image course through every fiber of his being, let the warmth of the new memory make him feel all the emotions he has been trying to suppress (probably since day one).

When he prayed, he stood there and closed his eyes, not thinking of anything else but the way Yuto’s eyelashes brushed against his cheeks, or the way the paper lanterns illuminated Yuto in a warm summer glow.

The way he wanted to reach out for Yuto’s hand.

The way he wished Yuto would think the same. Would feel the same.

But now all Yamada could do was close his eyes and feel the warmth of the person standing next to him.

That summer night, a few hours before the fireworks show, Yamada stood in front of the shrine, praying with the image of the person he wanted to protect in his mind burned into the back of his eyelids.

Beside him, Yuto opened his eyes, glanced at Yamada, smiled, and closed his eyes again.

 

Later when Yuto asked what he prayed for, Yamada smiled and simply answered “Happiness.”

 

Yuto looked at Yamada for a long moment and nodded in understanding.

 

“Look over there, by the stall of catch the goldfish,” Yuto whispered, discreetly inclining his head. Yamada handed over the stick of cotton candy Yuto had wanted to buy and looked over, smiling when he saw Chinen and Ohgo playing the game with their heads close together. They both watched from a safe distance as Chinen gave the goldfish he had won to Ohgo, who smiled at him in response. They linked hands and wandered off to the other stalls, heading towards the higher grounds of the shrine for a better view for the fireworks show later. Yamada ate his cotton candy in silence as he and Yuto trailed off after their friends, grinning when he remembered something.

“Something amusing?” Yuto asked, getting powder all over his face. Yamada reached up and dusted the powder away from the area around Yuto’s lips before replying.

“Shida would have a field day over this. Chinen didn’t stop teasing her for a whole month when he found out she and Kamiki are together,” he recalled, smiling. “Though I guess they had some bet going on about this and she’ll be reaping the benefits.”

“W-what?” Yuto said, stopping in his tracks.

Yamada looked at Yuto’s surprised expression and immediately held up his hands. “I don’t take part in the betting! And it’s really just for fun, I promise,” he hurriedly explained. “The people in my agency just get bored real fast.”

“No, I meant the part before that,” Yuto said slowly.

“...about Chinen teasing Shida and Kamiki about being together…?” Yamada responded just as slowly, wondering why Yuto was so fixed upon this particular point.

“So… you guys aren’t together?” he clarified.

“What? No!” Yamada said. “She’s like a sister to me! And in case you haven’t noticed, Shida and Kamiki went off together earlier! And she already called Kamiki her boyfriend! And that was probably a lot of exclamation points, but seriously though!”

“Oh,” he said, letting go of his stick of cotton candy. Yamada caught it in the nick of time, panicking as Yuto started swaying unsteadily on his feet.

“Are you okay?” Yamada asked in alarm. “You look really pale! I knew it, we should really head back—”

Yuto held up a hand. “Just… just a little dizzy,” he said faintly. “J-just give me five minutes, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Yamada asked. Yuto nodded his head minutely.

“I’m… okay,” Yuto said slowly, his voice sounding brittle.

At the back of his mind Yamada wondered why Yuto looked so shell-shocked, but he didn’t say anything as he grabbed Yuto’s arm and guided him to a less crowded place. They began walking, the crowd surging around them as they moved with the mass of people starting to look for spots to watch the fireworks festival. Yamada walked on the side of the crowd by instinct, keeping Yuto on the sidewalk so he could have an easier lookout for any untoward incident. Yuto was silent, his hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt.

“Your camera,” Yamada suddenly said.

“Huh?” Yuto said, blinking owlishly at Yamada.

“Your camera,” Yamada repeated. “You didn’t bring it tonight.”

“Oh,” Yuto said, scratching the back of his neck. “Suzu-chan has it. I forgot to get it back... My phone camera’s pretty decent though.”

“Oh,” Yamada replied, frowning at the distracted look Yuto had in his eyes. Yuto wasn’t the type of person to forget things, especially something as important to him as his camera. They continued walking through the crowd in silence, Yamada fidgeting at how unused he is with Yuto’s silence. He was thinking about how to ask without sounding too noisy that he hadn’t noticed that Yuto had fallen behind and had stopped walking.

“Ne, Yama-chan,” he said quietly.

“Hmm?” Yamada replied, looking back at Yuto standing still amidst a yukata-wearing crowd. It was kind of beautiful, seeing how tall and different he was with the rest of the people

“Can we talk?” Yuto asked.

“Sure… is there something wrong?” Yamada said, walking up to Yuto. Yuto didn’t answer, didn’t say or do anything but look at Yamada with a quiet, almost desperate urgency. Yamada saw the look in Yuto’s eyes and nodded, looking around to find somewhere they can talk in semi-privacy.

“I know a place,” Yuto said, pointing to a group of trees just past the shrine. “There’s a secret garden behind the shrine. It’s a bit of a walk, though.”

Yamada nodded his head. Yuto stumbled on the uneven pavement, instinctively holding onto Yamada’s arm. Yamada dropped the cotton candy sticks at the shock of the sudden contact.

“Sorry,” Yuto mumbled, his hand sliding down and hesitating before curling over Yamada’s slack fist. Yamada gulped and walked on, feeling Yuto’s grip tighten over his hand.

Yuto’s hand was warm against Yamada’s bare skin.

The nerve endings of Yamada’s hands felt alive with fire.

They reached the group of trees, and Yamada found a flagstone path scattered with leaves that looked untouched. It look like it was kept hidden in purpose, the weathered stepping stones dusty and buried firmly into the soft earth. They followed the hidden path strangely devoid of visitors and other shrine goers until they reached a bend, turning and suddenly finding themselves in a small forest. It seemed like a different world, the hubbub of the crowd of festival goers muted by the trees and the sounds of nature at night. They emerged in a clearing in the middle of a small garden in the shrine grounds, the moonlight shining through the trees illuminating the small manmade lake and the wooden bridge stretching over it.

The place was beautiful, but all Yamada could think about was how Yuto’s grip had tightened on his hand. It had gotten to the point where it would be painful, but Yamada welcomed the pain.

The pain reminded him that somehow it was all real.

Yuto squeezed Yamada’s hand before releasing it and walking towards the direction of the wooden bridge.

Yamada tried to ignore how his hand suddenly felt cold in the warm summer night.

 “Yuto-kun, what’s wrong?” Yamada said, following Yuto to the bridge.

“Tell me something?” Yuto said suddenly, raising his hands to hold his cheeks.

Yamada tilted his head, unsure where this conversation was going. “What do you want me to tell you?” he asked.

Yuto adjusted the mask perched on his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. “Anything,” he said slowly. “Like...why your hair is silver, for one. I tried to ask Chinen-kun, but he said you had your reasons.”

Yamada stopped walking, looking at Yuto in surprise. “Chinen never mentioned that,” he said.

Yuto blinked. “Oh.”

Yamada ran his free hand through his hair. “It was a bet with one of the people in the agency. Said I had to dye my hair silver for a month,” Yamada said, smiling at the memory. “Did it himself too. He did a pretty good job of it.”

Yuto was silent, looking out into the reflection of the starry sky on the lake surface as he listened to Yamada’s story. Yamada ran another hand through his hair and smiled ruefully.

“He said he’ll dye my hair back after a month with his own hands. But at the end of the month he went on a mission and… well, he never came back. When the color grew out I just kind of got it colored back to the same shade… I don’t know, it felt kinda wrong to color it back without him.”

He went to lean against the wooden framework of the bridge, staring up at the starry sky. From the corner of his eye he saw Yuto start forward to stand beside him before hesitating and going to lean against the other side of the wooden railings.

“...I’m sorry I asked,” Yuto said in a whisper. The air was filled with the sounds of the surrounding trees, charged with the energy of the unseen people all around the shrine.

“You don’t have to be,” Yamada assured him. He saw stars twinkling at the distance and focused on the sky, trying to not make his voice shake. “It’s a part of me. I wanted to tell you.”

“Then tell me everything,” Yuto said. Everything felt hushed, like even the breeze did not want to disturb their conversation by rustling up the branches of the trees.

“Yuto-kun?” Yamada said, his voice breaking at the last syllable. Yuto looked at Yamada straight in the eye, walking forward until he was right in front of him. He leaned down and looped his arms around Yamada’s shoulders, his hands  hanging loosely behind Yamada’s neck.

“Would it be okay if I wanted to know Yamada-kun more?” Yuto asked. Yamada nodded, not trusting himself to speak. The distance between them was getting smaller and smaller, so much so that he can smell Yuto’s shampoo, feel his breath on his lips.

“Is it okay if I like to know you this much?” Yuto whispered. “Is it okay to like you this much?”

Yamada’s eyes widened at Yuto’s statement, right before Yuto’s lips came crashing into his.

They were warm from the summer heat, tasting of cotton candy he was eating earlier and something that was probably only uniquely Yuto.

The both of them were still after the initial contact, but soon Yamada could feel Yuto’s fingers hesitantly curling up at the place where his hair meets the nape of his neck, and before he could understand what was happening, he had grabbed on to the front of Yuto’s shirt. Yuto’s lips were surprisingly gentle, soft as he raised Yamada’s chin to deepen the kiss.

Yamada’s brain, finally catching up with what’s happening, unfroze enough to allow him to move, his hands cautiously grabbing hold of Yuto’s shirt, asking himself if everything was just a dream. The kiss grew in intensity, Yamada’s grip on Yuto’s shirt tightening with every passing second.

Yuto started and ended the kiss, then started and ended another one.

Yamada opened his eyes just in time to see Yuto’s bemused smile and glazed expression before he crumpled to the ground in an unconscious heap.

“Wha— Yuto-kun? Ne, Yuto-kun?!”

 

 

“He _what?_ ” Chinen and Ohgo said at the same time.

Yamada was slumped in Yuto’s usual seat at class, his head hanging. He cannot look at Chinen and Ohgo in the eye.

Yuto was nowhere in sight.

“He got drugged and it just happened okay?” Yamada said defensively. “He probably doesn’t even remember it.”

“How did he even get drugged?” Chinen asked. “Wasn’t he with you the entire time?”

“He drank sweet sake somebody was passing out for free at the temple gates before he met up with Suzuka-san and the rest of us,” Yamada said, running his hands through his hair. “Being Yuto-kun, he never would have considered the possibility that it may be drugged.”

Chinen raised his eyebrow at his friend. “Sure, keep telling yourself that,” he said. “Why are you even defending him?”

“Because! Why would he even kiss me?” Yamada said.

“Yamada-kun,” Ohgo said, holding Yamada’s gaze. “Have you ever stopped to consider the fact that maybe Yuto-kun likes you?”

“What? Why would he like me?” Yamada said. Ohgo let out an uncharacteristic sigh of frustration.

“If he doesn’t remember anything, why isn’t he here then?” Chinen added. “He wouldn’t have any reason to be embarrassed or run away. Unless…”

“He’s probably still sleeping off the drugs,” Yamada said, a worried frown on his face. He stood up and began pacing the path between the desks, biting his lip and staring at his phone, willing it to ring.

“Or he remembers everything and probably banging his head to a wall because he’s embarrassed and thinks that avoiding you would make the problem go away,” Chinen said, looking quickly at Yamada. “No offense, Yama-chan.”

“I’m too worried to be offended,” Yamada replied. “If kissing me makes him want to wake up with amnesia, I’m more concerned if he’s safe. The pain and humiliation will come much later, I think.”

Chinen slapped a hand to Yamada’s shoulder. “Don’t be such a drama queen, Ryosuke. He’s probably getting shit-faced in a bar somewhere,” he said. “Or he isn’t answering calls because he got kidnapped and he’s bound and gagged in an abandoned warehouse waiting for his super hot bodyguard to save him from the evil clutches of some dude in a leather jacket and multi-tinted sunglasses—”

Yamada stared at Chinen. “How was that supposed to make me feel better?” he asked. “And you’ve watched too many _Hana Yori Dango_ reruns.”

Ohgo shot Chinen a look before he could rush to the defense of the awesomeness of _Hana Yori Dango_. She turned to Yamada, but before she could speak Yamada’s phone lighted up on the desk. Yamada snatched his phone up, deflating a bit when he saw that it wasn’t Yuto.

“Hello?” he said into the phone, glumly shaking his head in answer to Chinen and Ohgo’s questioning looks.

“What the fuck did you do, Yamada?” Inoo said without preamble. Yamada’s phone slipped in his grip for a split second before he could recover, holding it with both hands as he tried to maintain a calm exterior despite the vitriol in his superior’s voice.

“I-Inoo-kun?” he said, his voice shaking. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about—”

“What did you do to Nakajima-kun?” Inoo nearly shouted at him.

“ _Me_?! I didn’t do anything!” Yamada argued. Chinen and Ohgo were looking at him, confused from what they were hearing from his part of the conversation.

“That’s funny, because I just got a call from him saying that he wanted to end our contract with him. Specifically, that he would no longer require your services as a bodyguard,” Inoo said, sounding like he was three seconds away from losing all his shit. “What the hell, Yamada-kun?

Yamada felt his heart speed up then stop, a cold weight dropping to the bottom of his stomach. “What?” he said. “He wants to end the contract? He really said that?”

Inoo exhaled loudly through his nose. Yamada could almost picture him pacing in his office, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing the tips of his fingers in circles to his temples. “No, his father’s secretary said that. Then he asked to speak to me and told me he didn’t want to see you,” he said, the exasperation clear in his tone.

Yamada numbly sat down on his seat.

“Yamada-kun?” Ohgo asked, sounding worried. “Did something happen?”

Inoo sighed. “What happened at the night of the festival, Yamada-kun?” he asked in a much gentler tone than when Yamada picked up.

Yamada exhaled and hung his head, running his free hand through his hair. “Yuto-kun got drunk and possibly drugged,” he said, his voice as clinical and as void of emotion as he could make it to be. “The aftereffects left him lucid and disoriented, and while we were talking he kissed me and promptly collapsed. I took him home afterwards but now he’s probably remembered what happened, and didn’t want to associate with me in any manner in the future as a result.”

“He initiated the kiss?” Inoo asked. At the back of his head, Yamada marveled at how Inoo sounded like he was asking for symptoms of the flu.

“Yes,” Yamada replied. “Though as I said, it may just probably be an after-effect of the drug.”

“Who the hell would make a drug that makes people want to kiss other people? Alcohol can already solve that problem,” Inoo replied. Yamada can imagine him closing his eyes and pinching his nose, probably questioning the universe on why does he have to deal with this. “Look, just—just find him, okay?”

“I will,” Yamada said, already standing up.

“And Yama-chan?” Inoo said, just as Yamada was about to end the call. Inoo’s voice was soft and a bit sad, completely different from the way he had greeted Yamada earlier.

“Don’t give up on him, okay?” Inoo said. “Don’t give up just yet.”

“I won’t,” Yamada said, his voice growing softer as well. “And I never would.”

Yamada ended the call and met Chinen and Ohgo’s gazes.

“Do you even know where to begin to look?”

Yamada smiled, remembering the sunlight coming through the leaves of many trees and being alone with somebody in the quiet forest. “I think I know just the place.”

 

Yamada was alone in the park, retracing by memory the hidden path he took with Yuto the one day he skipped Math class with him.

Tired eyes, sleepy smiles, summer heat, and sunlight through the leaves of the trees.

He quietly walked through a pile of fallen leaves, and suddenly he was not alone anymore.

It was the same clearing, the same sky. Summer was quickly fading out to welcome the warm colors and cool winds of autumn, and it was fast approaching twilight.

There was a solitary figure seated on one of the swings in the playground, something that was both out of place and something that felt like it naturally belonged there.

Yamada opened his mouth, but everything he wanted to say died halfway up his throat.

He let the rustling sound his feet made as he trudged through the grass and fallen leaves announce his arrival.

Yuto did not turn around, but he straightened up in his seat and began pushing at the ground with his feet to slowly set the swing in motion. He was just going to and fro, his knees bending and straightening as he tried to gain inertia.

Yamada sat down on the empty seat beside Yuto, still not meeting his gaze. He planted both of his feet on the ground and settled his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers together and wishing he remembered to bring his gloves with him.

“There was no point for me going to class if you weren’t there, you know,” Yamada said, not caring how his words sounded anymore.

“How did you find me?” Yuto finally said, still weakly pushing at the leaf-strewn ground with his boots.

Yamada shrugged. “Lucky guess,” he said. He looked up and faced Yuto’s direction. “You weren’t in class and you weren’t answering my calls, so I had to look for you. I’ll get scolded by Inoo-kun if I didn’t.”

Yuto’s swing stilled in mid-motion. “...Inoo-san didn’t tell you?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I talked to him before going to find you,” Yamada said, pushing at the ground with his feet so he sat with his heels bracing him on the ground. “It was the first time I heard him yell and swear that much.”

“Then you shouldn’t have bothered,” Yuto mumbled in reply, an undercurrent of emotion (disappointment? frustration? anger?) running just barely beneath the surface of his nonchalant tone.

“I couldn’t possibly leave you here by yourself,” Yamada said. “You got _drugged_. How can I leave you alone after that?”

“I can manage,” Yuto said, lifting a hand to gesture at quiet expanse of woods around them. “I’m alone.”

“I’m here,” Yamada said, pointing to himself. “Let me be alone with you. I promise I won’t say anything.”

“Look, I’ll talk to Inoo-san, I’ll pay the contract termination fee—”

“Is that what you think of me?” Yamada interrupted, indignant. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I didn’t mean it that way—” Yuto said, biting his lip.

“Yes you did,” Yamada said in a quiet voice, trying and failing to not let the hurt he was feeling flow through the cracks of the facade that he had carefully built all these years—a facade that Yuto easily broke through with his smiles and his warmth and Yamada’s stupid heart ignoring fucking protocol.

Yuto hung his head. “I’m sorry,” he said, and Yamada liked to think he knew Yuto well enough to know that he genuinely was. But his heart is stupid and he is only human even if he liked to pretend he isn’t, but he has as much emotions as the next person, just more repressed and hidden underneath the surface.

“I followed you here because I was worried about you as a _person._ You’re important to me, more than just because your parents are paying me to protect you,” he said, trying to keep his voice leveled. He sighed and looked at Yuto in the eye. “Don’t you understand? I want to do this.”

“Yama-chan, please…”

“I won’t forgive myself if you get hurt again.” Yamada’s whisper was hard and low, carried by the soft breeze with tension and far too many feelings left unsaid for far too long.

“I already hurt you,” Yuto said.

“That was my fault,” Yamada said. “I chose to get hurt, in all the meanings of the word that you can think of. It’s a possibility I am aware of happening the minute I took this job.”

“Don’t argue, Yama-chan. I _kissed_ you!” Yuto burst out. Yamada could see how hard he was gripping the chain links of the swing set, the veins of his hands and arms standing out on his skin. “Pushing my feelings on you was my fault. You even _thinking_ that you were hurt was all my fault.”

“You were drugged,” Yamada repeated, ignoring the way his heart jumped at Yuto’s words.

“But I’d do it again sober, and that would be my fault too,” Yuto said.

“That’s just the side-effects of the drugs talking,” Yamada said, his hands gripping the chain links holding up the swing white from the effort it took him to not tremble.

“Do I look like I’m drugged now?!” Yuto said, his voice rising. “I’m saying that now, as a functional human being, that kissing you was probably the worst thing I could do that could end our friendship but you know what? I’ll do it all over again if I wasn’t so freaking scared that you’ll just run away.”

“Who said you were the only one who was scared?” Yamada said, his voice rising as well. “You fainted and then refused to see or talk to me after you remembered everything, how was I supposed to feel?! You can’t just blame yourself for what happened! The both of us were there!”

“What are you even trying to say?” Yuto said. They were now facing each other, faces red and voices rising above each other, and Yamada cannot forget the storm in Yuto’s eyes, the complete opposite of the calm and sunshine surrounding them.

_To hell with calm_ , Yamada thought.

“I kissed you back, Yuto-kun.”

 

“What?”

 

“I kissed you back, Yuto-kun. It wasn’t just you, and I wasn’t drugged, and I could have pulled away but I didn’t,” Yamada said. “ _I kissed you back, Yuto-kun_.”

 

There was quiet, except for the faint stirring of the fallen leaves by the mild autumn breeze.

 

Yuto wasn’t saying anything.

 

Yamada wished he hadn’t said anything.

 

Yuto was the first to break eye contact, looking down at his shoes at the grass and the fallen foliage, red and green and brown and orange leaves making crunching sounds under his feet. Yamada looked down at his own feet, sighing and pushing at the ground with his heels to set the swing in motion.

“So there’s that,” Yamada announced, focusing on looking straight ahead and gaining inertia.

The wind was rushing into his ears, so much so that he almost missed Yuto’s soft whisper, the first words he spoke since Yamada’s almost-confession.

“...You kissed me back?” he said. From the corner of his eye, Yamada could see that Yuto’s face was carefully blank—the expression that Yamada knew Yuto tries to make every time he was trying to look like everything was okay.

“Yes, I did,” Yamada said, the sinking feeling in his stomach coming from something else other than the back and forth motion of the swing. He let his right foot touch the ground, his boot scraping against the soft earth under the swing and slowing down his motion to a gradual stop.

“You—” Yuto said, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat as he stared at Yamada.

Yamada forced his lips to form a smile, no matter how stiff and unnatural it felt. It was a smile a Yamada that hasn’t met Yuto yet would do, a smile that the Yamada now would not believe in a heartbeat. Damn it, he can’t even make himself believe his own lies. He _liked_ who he had become, before stupid drugs and almost-but-not-quite confessions messed up the version of him that he had stopped cringing at when he catches his reflection on mirrors.

“You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better, Yuto-kun,” he said, lips still forced into a sorry excuse of a smile. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

Yuto took a long moment before he spoke again. “...If you don’t need me to explain, can I just talk? On my own? You can listen if you want to. It’s just me rambling but… yeah, if you listen, I would appreciate it,” he said, trailing off at the end into a question mark.

Yamada didn’t say anything but began to make his swing sway in slow motion. He has no plans of leaving anytime soon. Seeing this, Yuto pushed at the ground with his feet once again to regain motion. The two of them started in different times, so when Yuto swung forward, Yamada swung backward. But there was always that split-second moment in the middle where their swings would align perfectly, and their hands would be mere centimeters apart. Forward, backward, and meeting halfway.

Yuto and Yamada go through a dozen motions (like what they have been doing all this time, the comfort of the constant back and forth bringing them to a standstill amidst all this motion) before Yuto began to speak. They were moving slowly so speech was still distinguishable, but Yamada still heard the characteristic rush of wind in his ears as he listened to Yuto talk.

“I really hated having bodyguards,” Yuto began, letting the toe of his shoe brush against the soft earth as Yamada watched, swaying, laws of motion and acceleration speeding through Yamada’s brain as he witnessed the wonder that is Nakajima Yuto’s existence. “I know my parents meant well, and logically I understand that it’s for my safety and protection, but most of the time it was annoying. Especially when I was younger, I wasn’t allowed for sleepovers and playing in the park, like most kids my age were. Naturally my parents were always busy, so aside from the rare occasion when they would bring me along their business trips abroad, we rarely went out as a family. Too much of a risk, they said. I didn’t really understand it much, until I met Suzu-chan.”

“Her parents were as overprotective of her as mine were to me. We were sheltered kids that grew up to be sheltered teenagers, and a lot of times it felt like we only had each other. Sure, we had other friends, but it felt like it was only the two of us who understood each other completely.”

Here Yuto took a deep breath, like he was about to plunge into a pool of ice-cold water, letting the wind meet his face as he closed his eyes again

“Our families are close, and we became friends. We studied in the same schools from daycare up to high school, and even now until up to university. It never became a conscious thought or move to action, but a huge part of our lives involved revolving around each other. We started dating for the convenience of it, for the person who can truly understand us to be right there, all the time, without having to explain why we’re being followed by all these guys in black suits and why we have to be home at a certain time without fail, or why we were not allowed to go out or go anywhere after school without permission. It was hard on both of us, but it became easier because we had each other.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Yamada whispered.

“Because I want you to understand who I am as a person,” Yuto replied. “I _need_ you to understand.”

“Why? I’m just your bodyguard,” Yamada said.

“You’re not just my bodyguard, Yama-chan,” Yuto said. The wind was loud in Yamada’s ears, but he turned towards Yuto’s direction as he watched Yuto’s mouth form the words he could barely believe he was hearing.

“Then why?” Yamada whispered. “Why is it so important that I understand this? What are you trying to say?”

The swings that sat the both of them were moving at the same pace, their bodies being brought backward and forward by gravity. Then Yuto took a deep breath, broke eye contact, and looked straight ahead, speaking the next lines loud enough for the whole park to hear.

“I like you Yama-chan,” he declared, looking straight ahead. His voice was firm, steady, but Yamada was close enough to see the muscle jumping at Yuto’s jaw.

Yamada could almost laugh at how simple it sounded, but he had already fallen off his swing in shock. He was too surprised to do anything else but gape as Yuto hurriedly put his foot down, pausing midswing to look at Yamada sprawled on the ground.

“Y-yama-chan?” Yuto said. Yamada staggered to his feet, his eyes never leaving Yuto’s face. He stood in front of Yuto, laying shaking hands on the latter’s shoulders.

“You’re not joking right?” he said, looking into Yuto’s eyes. “You’re not pulling my leg? This isn’t just some elaborate prank?”

Yuto laughed a little, placing his hands on Yamada’s shoulders in turn. “Yama-chan. No hidden cameras. Just me…” he said, ducking his head and blushing. “If you’ll take me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Yamada said, almost as if by reflex. He placed the crook of his index finger under Yuto’s chin, lifting Yuto’s face to meet his eyes.  “You’re perfect.”

“You’re biased,” Yuto disagreed, looking up to meet Yamada’s gaze. A beat, and the both of them started laughing.

“Ne,” Yuto said after the initial wave of laughter has passed. “Can I ask a question?”

Yamada coughed and cleared his throat, smiling and nodding at Yuto.  Yuto’s smile widened.

“Can I kiss you?” he said. “For real this time?”

A beat.

The wind rustles their hair. Their gazes do not leave each other’s faces.

A beat.

Yamada leant forward. Inch by slow inch.

A beat.

Their faces are mere centimeters apart. A gentle breeze stirs the leaves scattered on the ground by their feet.

A beat.

Yuto can feel Yamada’s breath on his lips.

A beat.

Yuto felt rather than heard Yamada’s reply.

A beat.

“Yes,” Yamada whispered against Yuto’s lips.

A

Beat.

The sun is setting slowly in the distance, its light filtering through the leaves of the trees. _Komorebi_ , the Japanese call it.

The shadows of two people align in the warm glow of the afternoon sun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Come in,” Inoo called out in response to the knock on his office door.

A head of silver hair poked his way into his face, Yamada’s face glowing and grinning.

“Hey, I saw your office light was on,” he said, his voice too perky for so early in the morning. “I’m going for a jog, wanna come with?”

Inoo raised a thick file in the air in response. “Nah, I’m good. Have fun on your date,” he said, the corner of his mouth raising into a smirk at Yamada’s obvious blush.

“It’s not a date!” Yamada stuttered out. “I’m on duty! Why would I invite you to come along if I was going on a date!”

“It’s six in the morning, Yamada. You won’t wake up willingly earlier than noon on a weekend unless it’s a life or death situation. Or it’s Nakajima-kun,” Inoo said, his dimple deepening at Yamada’s embarrassed face and flushed skin. “And since you’re smiling like that, I’m leaning towards the Nakajima-kun angle. So really, have fun.”

“I’m just doing my job,” Yamada muttered sullenly, bringing up an arm to cover up his yawn.

“Yes, you’re _doing your job_ ,” Inoo said, waggling his eyebrows. Yamada dropped his arm and blinked at Inoo in confusion before (embarrassed) comprehension dawned on his face.

“ _Inoo-kun, it’s six in the fucking morning. Is sex all you can think about?!_ ” Yamada said shrilly, in a voice that may be a couple of octaves higher than his normal voice.

Inoo grinned and put a finger to his lips. “Bedroom voice, Yamada-kun,” he reprimanded in a whisper, his shoulders shaking with suppressed mirth. “...though I guess you reserve your bedroom voice for Yuto-kun—”

“You are _unbelievable_ ,” Yamada said, sticking out his tongue at Inoo and banging the door close behind him. Inoo chuckled as a bunch of blankets rolled off Inoo’s couch and onto the floor.

“What the—” a sleepy and disoriented voice that came from the human-shaped blanket pile said. Inoo went and crouched beside the blankets and poked at one end, Hikaru’s head popping out of it with a groan a moment later.

“Why is everyone so noisy?” he complained, his voice husky from sleep.

“Shhh, go back to sleep,” Inoo said, ruffling Hikaru’s hair in sympathy. “Yamada just reported for duty.”

_“It’s six in the fucking morning_ ,” Hikaru rasped out.

“Yuto-kun said he wanted to catch the sunrise,” Inoo said, by way of explanation.

Hikaru blinked. “Oh.”

“I’ll go make you coffee,” Inoo said with a gentle smile. Hikaru closed his eyes and smiled, letting Inoo brush away his hair from his eyes in attempt to fix his dreadful bed (well, couch) hair. “Two sugars and no milk, right?”

Hikaru nods against Inoo’s hand, feeling it graze his cheek for a moment before the latter stood up and went to busy himself with the coffee maker. Letting out a huge yawn, he gathered the blankets around him and huddled into the couch once again, drifting off into dreamland.

He had always associated love with warm things. A good mug of coffee, sunlight, and gentle hands.

And him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yama-chan, hurry up! We'll miss the sunrise!"

"It's too early to be this energetic at sunrise, Yuto!!!"

"It's called sunrise for a reason—wait, did you just call me by my first name?"

"...no, I didn't."

"Yes you did! That's the first time you called me without honorifics!"

"Shut up, if we don't hurry we're gonna miss it!"

"Ryosuke~"

"..."

"You like that, don't you!"

"JUST TAKE YOUR PICTURE."

 

 

 

(They won't miss the sunset, or the next ones, and while they don't see each and every one of them, they would be together for them)


End file.
